


It's Time To Be Brave

by WardenRoot



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: A Dash Of Eventual Angst, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, General!Ava, Various characters from the show appear/are mentioned, your scars show up on your soulmate's body
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2020-04-24 07:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19168282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WardenRoot/pseuds/WardenRoot
Summary: Years ago, the Empire took the kingdom by force, killing the then ruling family. To fight back, the Rebellion was formed, intent on throwing the evil forces out of their land. One day, the leader of the Rebellion, General Ava, searches the site of a recent Empire attack. In the rubble, she finds a single survivor of the attack. She takes the survivor back to her camp, offering her a place to heal and a place in the Rebellion, to fight back against her attackers, should she decide to stay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from We Could Be the Heroes by Young Summer
> 
> Thank you so much to @Starling83 for betaing this fic!
> 
> I've been working on this fic for a while and originally I wanted to have most of this fic written before I started posting so I could give an accurate number of expected chapters and make sure I know everything I need to tag and whatnot, buuut then I got impatient aslkjfhd  
> I think at this moment in time about half the fic is written, meaning I've got a few chapters as a buffer, and I think the fic should end up being 7-8 chapters, but please don't quote me on that. This also means that the rating _might_ go up in later chapters because I haven't decided all the details yet.

Ava clenches her jaw at the sight that meets her eyes. There is smoke rising from the small village she and her people had been riding to save. She was told by one of her scouts earlier that the village was right in the Empire’s path and had put together a team at once to try and get there before the Empire. But they are too late, the village has already been reduced to rubble. 

One day, the Empire will get what they deserve.

“Spread out and look for survivors!” she calls, glancing at the squad she had gathered. There is a chorus of acknowledgments, then Ava is on her way, carefully traversing the ruined village.

Smoke fills her nose as she walks through it and what once belonged to wooden structures crumbles into ash beneath her steps. She draws her sword, having long since learned that she always has to be on her guard, even if the Empire is supposed to have moved on by now.

The village had been a small one, barely enough guards in it to keep bandits at bay. It sickens Ava that something professing to have the land’s best at interest would target such a place, just because they refused to bow down to them.

She spots something shining on the ground and kneels down next to it, carefully brushing away the ash and dirt above it. As she pulls it from the ground, she recognizes the shape of a small wolf, made out of metal. She moves her eyes around her, trying to figure out what had previously been where she is standing. She gasps, the metal wolf falling from her hands, as her eyes land on a small half-burned body. 

She stands back up, sadness curling around her heart, as she continues her search for survivors.

 

She is about to give up, having searched for so long without finding anyone still alive, when there is a groan coming from somewhere to her left. She starts running towards the sound, sheathing her sword as her eyes search for anything that stands out.

The first thing she notices is strands of blonde hair, almost glowing against the dark ground where the dirt has not touched it. The hair belongs to a woman, Ava notes, as her eyes move over her dirty face and down her dark clothing.

“Are you okay?” Ava asks, kneeling next to her.

The woman blinks up at her, looking as if she is trying to find out what Ava is. Her eyes widen as, presumably, her brain catches up with her eyes, and the woman shuffles backward, a whimper leaving her lips.

“It’s okay!” Ava says, raising her hands up into the air. “I’m not with the Empire. I’m here to help.” Ava looks her over once more when she stops moving, and her eyes land on her leg, where her trousers have been cut open, revealing a wound. She looks back up at the woman’s face, finding blue eyes staring hesitantly back at her.

“They came so fast,” she whispers, slowly moving her eyes over the ruins surrounding them. Ava’s eyes flick to her lips as she speaks, noticing a cut across her upper one. “I tried to fight back,” she continues, glancing down at the ground next to her hands. It is only then that Ava notices the dagger at her side.

“I’m sorry,” is all Ava can manage to say, knowing all too well the feeling of the Empire hitting someone’s home. The strike is too quick, too overwhelming for anyone to stand a chance against them. Ava cannot help but admire the woman fighting back even though she had no way of winning. “I’m Ava,” she says, tentatively reaching her hand out towards the woman.

The woman eyes her hand warily, before hesitantly reaching for it with one of her own. “I’m Sara.”

Before Ava can think of something else, someone crouches down next to her.

“Do you need any help?” the newcomer, Amaya, asks, directing her question at Sara, offering Ava a nod.

When Sara does not respond, Ava speaks for her. “She has a wound on her leg and a small cut on her upper lip.” Amaya nods along with her words, already reaching into her backpack for bandages. Ava turns her attention back on Sara. “Amaya will take good care of you,” she says, offering a smile before she stands up.

“Wait!” Sara says, reaching a hand out towards Ava just as Ava is about to turn around. Ava stops, watching as Sara’s face goes from frightened to almost guilty. Her hand falls down next to her body, curled up in a fist, as she looks down at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

Ava cannot quite explain why, but there is a pang in her heart at observing Sara’s outburst. She kneels back down next to her, placing a hand on Amaya’s shoulder. “Go look for other survivors,” she says, taking the bandages from her hands. Amaya nods, quickly getting back onto her feet, and then she is gone.

“So,” Ava starts, pouring some water on a bandage, “you know how to fight?”

“No,” Sara says, leg jolting as Ava carefully begins to clean the skin around her wound, “I just found a dagger on the ground and decided that waving it at the scary men was a great thing to do.”

Ava draws her eyebrows together, looking up at Sara as her hand finds an easy rhythm. Sara juts her chin, looking at Ava almost defiantly.

“I’m here to help,” Ava says, resting her other hand on Sara’s unwounded knee.

“Sorry,” Sara says again, looking away. “Father was a guard, he taught me and my sister how to fight when we were young.”

Ava nods, looking down at Sara’s much cleaner leg. “Was your family here?” she asks, gently moving the wet bandage to Sara’s wound, inspecting it as she cleans it. She thinks it looks like a stab wound, the blade cutting deep but not too wide.

“No,” Sara says, following it with, “You’re pretty good at that.”

“Growing up with the Rebellion, you get used to seeing wounds and used to how to treat them. Where is your family?” Ava looks back up at Sara, finding her eyes trained on Ava’s hand.

“Dead,” she says, without skipping a beat. “Do you have anything to drink?”

Ava fetches her waterskin, finding herself curious about Sara’s past but not wanting to push anything. She hands the waterskin to Sara, then discards the wet bandage, finding a fresh one to wrap around her leg.

“Can you walk?” she asks when she’s done, closing up her backpack.

“I think so,” Sara replies, trying to bend her knees.

Ava jumps to her feet, stretching her hands out for Sara. Sara accepts one of them and Ava pulls her up, her other hand wrapping around Sara’s body once she’s close enough. Sara stumbles as her feet hit the ground, making her almost crash into Ava and putting her right into Ava’s personal space.

“How does it feel?” Ava asks, taking a step back but keeping hold of Sara’s hand with one of her own, the other placed firmly on Sara’s waist.

Sara swallows, gently applying pressure on her foot, but she lets out a yelp and leans her entire weight back on her uninjured one. She looks down at her foot, practically glaring at it. Ava finds the action oddly adorable.

“It’s okay, I’ll help you,” Ava says, readjusting herself so she is at Sara’s side, one hand wrapped securely around her waist as the other guides Sara’s arm over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Sara says, leaning some of her weight on Ava as they start moving towards the horses.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” Ava asks, trying to fill the silence of their walk.

“No,” Sara says, a tinge of sadness in her voice.

“The Rebellion could always use more fighters.”

“You’d take someone who got stabbed and knocked out by Empire soldiers?” Sara sounds almost disbelieving as she turns her head to look at Ava.

“I’d take someone willing to fight the Empire, even when she knew she was outnumbered.” Ava glances at Sara, trying to gauge her reaction. “In any case, seeing as you have nowhere else to go, you’re more than welcome to heal up back at the camp and then be on your way.”

“I—” Sara bites her lip, looking away from her. “I’ll think about it. Thank you, Ava, for everything.”

Ava doesn’t know why her name spoken from Sara’s lips sounds like the most pleasant sound she has ever heard, but she nods at Sara’s words, feeling warmth spread through her cheeks.

Once they make it back to the horses, the rest of Ava’s squad is already there, but there appear to be no survivors with them.

“Let’s go home,” Ava says, feeling herself deflate at all of those peoples’ lives going lost because of the Empire.

Ava helps Sara onto her own horse, trying to be careful with her leg. Sara complains surprisingly little for someone who is not a soldier, and Ava finds herself admiring it. She quickly jumps up on her horse behind Sara, wrapping her arms around her waist so she can grab the reins.

“Wouldn’t it be easier for me to take the reins?” Sara asks, slightly twisting her upper body to look back at Ava.

“My horse,” Ava says, raising an eyebrow at her. “Besides, you don’t know the way back to camp.”

“I could follow everyone else,” Sara argues, throwing a look over Ava’s squad.

Ava frowns, signaling for her horse to start moving. “ _ I _ lead,” she says, throwing a glance behind herself to check that her squad is following.

It is Sara’s turn to raise an eyebrow at Ava, a slight mischievous twinkle in her eyes, but Ava can’t decipher what the look is supposed to mean.


	2. Chapter 2

Sara moans. She tries to hold it back, to hide it, but Ava can just hear the sound, what with Sara’s back pressed against her atop her horse. Ava frowns, pulling her horse to a stop as she looks down at Sara’s leg. She should have thought about it sooner, a leg injury is not fun to have on top of a bouncing horse.

“Do you need to rest?” Ava asks, holding up her hand to stop the rest of her squad.

“It’s fine, I don’t want to hold everyone up,” Sara says, trying to sound unaffected. She frowns, hand squeezing her own thigh, then looks back at Ava. “Actually, if you don’t mind, a break sounds good.”

“We’ll take a short break,” Ava calls, turning around in her saddle. She lets go of the reins, slowly easing herself off of her horse without jostling Sara too much. “Take my hand.”

“I can—” Sara looks down at Ava’s offered hand, closing her mouth before opening it again— “Thank you.” She takes the hand, and Ava steps closer, wrapping her arm around Sara’s waist as she helps to ease her out of the saddle. Sara sends her a smile, once down on the ground, but Ava cannot help but feel she is not too happy about having needed help to get off the horse.

“I’m going to go refill my waterskin, and anyone else’s if they need. The rest of you, stay here with Sara,” Ava says, looking over her team, consisting of two of her closest friends, Amaya, one of her healers, and Zari, one of her rangers, and the rest of the squad she had gathered, as she grabs the waterskins they hand to her.

“Don’t hesitate to let them know if anything’s wrong,” she says before leaving, directing her words at Sara. Sara nods back at her, but she looks almost uncertain at the prospect of Ava leaving, and Ava feels the same uncertainty in her own stomach. Which is ridiculous, she has just met Sara, she does not even know if Sara will be staying past what is strictly necessary for her leg to heal. She should not feel bad or uncertain about leaving her alone with people she trusts.

Ava sighs, forcing her legs to move. She had seen a small river not too far back that she thinks will be perfect for her needs.

 

It doesn’t take far to get there, and Ava enjoys the small moment alone as she breathes in the evening air and fills up all the waterskins. She does not get a lot of moments like this — alone, surrounded by nature still untouched by the Empire’s destructive ways. As the general of the Rebellion, she is either always surrounded by advisors or reminders of their enemy.

Despite the serenity of the moment, there is still a small pit in her stomach, almost like a feeling of guilt about leaving Sara behind. Ava shakes her head. Sara needs the rest and all of them needs fresh water.

She closes her eyes and takes one last deep breath before gathering up all of the waterskins and pushing back up on her feet, beginning her journey back to the others.

 

When she gets back, she expects to find at least one person sulking. Instead, she finds all of them talking animatedly. Sara’s leg rests in Amaya’s lap, a fresh bandage around it.

“Everything okay?” she asks, moving to check up on her horse.

“If it wasn’t before, it definitely is now,” Sara says, sending Ava a small, almost bashful smile.

“Good,” Ava says, clearing her throat as she looks away from her, busying herself with her horse instead.

“I should be ready to travel again, I’m sorry for making us stop,” Sara calls a little loudly so Ava can hear her.

Ava turns back around to face them, patting her horse’s neck. “The break wasn’t unwelcome,” Ava assures her, walking towards them so she can hand out the freshly filled-up waterskins. She pauses when she reaches Sara, offering her her own waterskin — she has to be parched after how Ava found her.

“Thank you,” she says, offering a grateful smile, before drinking what must be nearly half the water in one swig.

She hands it back to Ava when she is done. Ava eyes it warily — maybe she should not be, considering her upbringing, but she has always been wary of drinking from the same thing as someone else if she can help it. Sara notices and raises a mock offended eyebrow at her, making Ava roll her eyes as she takes a sip from the water, finding herself not giving it a second thought the moment the water hits her lips.

“Right,” Sara says, clapping her hands together, “shall we continue?”

 

***

 

It is well into night once they finally make it back to where they set up camp just a few days before. While not their main force or base — both of which reside in an old village far away from the Empire’s forces — it serves as a current base for the Rebellion’s general and a few dozen of her best troops.

Ava sighs at the familiar sight of torches in the darkness of the night, not so much seeing her soldiers move to prepare for her return, but the flames flying through the air. As they get closer, her horse slowing down as to not trample the camp, Ava feels herself slightly relax. But, of course, she does not fully rest, does not let her soldiers see her with anything but her shoulders straight and her head held high. Despite their lack of success today, they need to still know their general has not given up.

She jerks as blonde hair tickles her jaw, Sara turning her head to look at her. For the last trek of riding, everyone, Sara included, had been quiet, all of them tired, and Ava had almost forgotten about the presence in her arms.

“This must be a sight your soldiers aren’t used to,” she says, a tired smile pulling at her lips. All Ava offers in return is a look of confusion. “Or do you often ride back to camp with random women on your horse?” Sara raises an eyebrow at her, but Ava is too tired to quite see what Sara is insinuating. When Ava’s features do not change, Sara’s face softens, looking at Ava with something that Ava cannot quite place.

“The General has returned!” someone calls, making Ava turn her attention back on the camp.

They easily ride through the makeshift gate, stopping in front of three flames, one of which Ava knows who it belongs to without having seen them.

“General!” the owner of the voice says, all too enthusiastic for the time of night.

“Lieutenant Green,” Ava greets, sliding off of her horse.

“How did the mission go? Who is this?” he asks, looking between Ava and Sara as Ava helps Sara down from the horse.

“This is Sara,” Ava says, letting Sara lean her weight on her as she grabs the torch from Gary’s hands, only a little worried that he will swing it around and set fire to something. “She’s the only survivor we could find. I need you to find her somewhere to sleep tonight.”

“Right away, boss!” Gary says, already half turned around as he speaks, ready to run around and do Ava’s bidding. Ava cannot be bothered to tell him that maybe he should take Sara with him. Instead she just tightens her arm around Sara as she tries to follow him in the dark.

When they catch up to him, they find him in a tent mostly used for storage, but everything has been pushed to the side, a bedroll laid out in the middle of the room. He gestures to it proudly as Ava and Sara enter, a big grin on his face.

“Thank you, Gary,” Ava says, walking Sara all the way over to the bedroll. “You can go now.”

Gary nods, just as enthusiastically as he has done everything else, and hurries out, bumping into a couple of crates on the way. Ava sighs when the two of them are finally alone.

“That’s your lieutenant?” Sara asks, her voice filled with disbelief.

“He’s a good lieutenant,” Ava defends, knowing how he comes across to someone who does not know him. He has never been the most fit to lead, but he serves Ava well as her second in command.

“Whatever you say.” Sara shakes her head slightly, lowering herself down onto the bedroll.

“How does your leg feel?” Ava asks, crouching down next to her, already reaching a hand out for it.

Sara looks down at it with a slight frown. “Could be better,” she shrugs, before laying all the way down, seemingly happy to ignore it.

Ava stares at it, stopping her hand just before it can make contact. “We should change the bandage.”

“Or we could sleep,” Sara says with a hint of annoyance, moving one hand up to rest underneath her head. A couple of seconds pass by in silence as Ava just stares at her, something about the way Sara says it sparking up an annoyance in Ava as well, before Sara sighs. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired, and I’m sure you are too, you don’t have to waste any more time you could spend sleeping on looking at that, it feels fine.”

“It’s not a waste of my time,” Ava insists, though she is not quite sure why she keeps pressing it. If Sara does not want her bandage changed, that is her decision.

“Fine,” Sara sighs, leaning up on her elbows. “But only because you’re so cute.”

Ava freezes, just for a second, not expecting the comment. She shakes her head and finds some fresh bandages, quickly changing the bandage. The area underneath it is mostly clean, from when Ava treated it earlier, in stark contrast with the rest of Sara, which is extremely dirty. A bath, however, will have to wait — Sara certainly does not seem bothered by sleeping like this.

“I will see you tomorrow,” Ava says, awkwardly patting Sara’s leg, before getting up. Sara tells her goodnight, and then Ava is out of the tent, heading for her own, eager to get out of her chain mail and catch at least a few hours of sleep.

 

When she enters her tent, Ava is quick to discard her chain mail. Then, she pulls off her tunic, tent too heated to sleep with it, and folds it, putting it down on a nearby chair. Her hand falls onto her stomach, brushing a small scar right above her abs. She looks down at it, tracing the tip of her finger over the marred skin. She remembers when she got it — not in a battle or even learning how to fight, but lying in her bed, safe and sound.

She remembers turning in her bed, her hand brushing her stomach, and feeling the unfamiliar mark on her skin. She had already learned about soulmates at that point, it was not an easy thing not to hear about, and she even had a couple of other scars, among those she got from her own doing. But it was the first scar that she could touch so easily, the first scar she had _felt_ before seeing.

She remembers feeling scared for what had happened to her soulmate for them to get the scar. She wondered — still wonders — if they are like her, raised to fight in the war, trained to do so from an early age. Ava doubts a normal person would have the scars that match her soulmate’s, the scars littering her own body that she cannot take credit for.

Ava sighs, letting her hand fall away from her stomach, fingers lightly brushing her skin until they hit the air. She quickly gets rid of her trousers and crawls into her bed, eager for slumber to take her.

 

***

 

“Isn’t checking up on injured potential recruits supposed to be a medic’s job, or someone who isn’t the general?” Sara asks the very moment Ava shows her face through the opening of her tent.

Ava frowns — in most cases, it is. She cannot say why she woke up with the need to check up on Sara, just knows that her tent was the first place her legs carried her.

“It’s not often I have injured strangers in my camps,” Ava responds, sitting down cross-legged next to Sara’s legs. It is not a lie, Ava usually lets just about anyone else deal with new recruits and rarely takes them on while away from the main base, especially injured ones. But, she had found Sara injured, and unlike the Empire, the Rebellion does not leave anyone who is helpless behind.

“Way to make a girl feel special,” Sara says, biting her lip as she looks at her.

Ava sighs, reaching into the backpack that she had brought. “How does your leg feel?” she asks, stretching a hand out for it tentatively.

“Oh, you know, like it’s been stabbed,” Sara says, trying to play it off nonchalantly, but her words end in a groan.

The corner of Ava’s mouth pulls up slightly as Ava carefully unwraps the bandages. She pauses halfway through, noticing how the bandages seem too fresh to have been on Sara’s leg all night, and it has been wrapped too cleanly for it to be Ava’s work. She hangs her head, sighing before she looks up at Sara, who is looking anywhere but her.

“These have already been changed,” she says, arching an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” Sara says, finally moving her eyes back to Ava.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ava lets the bandage slip out of her grip, making the whole thing loosen around Sara’s leg.

“You’re better at this than A… Amaya?” Sara shrugs, her chest rising as she draws a deep breath.

Ava scoffs, knowing full well the difference between her own mediocre bandaging and Amaya’s — it is very clear between them who practiced medicine and who was raised for war. “I’m not.”

“I think you are. Your touch feels better. Besides, I’m your guest, isn’t there something about not refusing hospitality that’s given to you?” Sara tries to bump her with her leg, causing the bandages to loosen even more.

Ava sighs, easily dragging the rest of the bandages away before finding the fresh ones she had prepared. She silently wraps them around the wound, feeling Sara’s eyes on her for the entire duration, as her own eyes are fixed on what her hands are doing. She looks up at Sara when she is done, one of her hands spread out on top of the new bandage. Sara looks thoughtful as she meets her gaze, a small smile pulling at her lips.

“Thank you,” she says, pulling herself into more of a sitting position so she can reach down with her hand. Ava does not know if she is reaching for her fresh bandages or for Ava’s hand, but the moment Sara’s soft fingers touch Ava’s, Ava pulls her hand back as if she has been burned. Something Ava cannot distinguish flashes across Sara’s face, before Sara’s hand smooths over her bandage instead and she changes her gaze from Ava to her leg.

Ava mentally hits herself, busying herself with putting everything back in her bag as if that had been her goal all along. “You must be dying to have a bath and get out of those dirty clothes,” Ava says when she’s done, eager to move away from the awkwardness she had caused.

Sara looks down herself, as if first now noticing how dirty she is. “A bath would be nice.”

Ava nods, quickly getting up on her feet and offering Sara a hand. Sara accepts it, letting Ava pull her up, but before Ava can begin to support her weight, Sara reaches for a crate, leaning on it with one hand as she uses the other to pull out a long wooden staff.

“I found this earlier, I hope you don’t mind?” she says, digging the staff into the ground so she can lean her weight on it. “I don’t wanna have to bother anyone anytime I want to go anywhere.”

“Of course not,” Ava says, moving her hands, that had up until been hanging uselessly in front of her, behind her back. “Follow me.” She reaches one hand in front of her again as she walks, using it to open the tent gap wider so Sara can move out of it without difficulty.

“Do you need help with, the, uh, bathing?” Ava asks awkwardly.

“Thanks for the offer, but I can still use my hands, General.” Sara lets out a small laugh, looking at Ava with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Right,” Ava says, clearing her throat as she feels a flush grow on her neck. She closes her eyes, willing herself to be less of… whatever it is that she is whenever Sara is near. When she opens them again, her eyes land on Zari, and Ava thanks whatever deity might be looking out for her.

“Ranger Tomaz,” she calls, begging for Zari to be paying attention.

“General,” Zari greets, turning around so she is walking towards them.

“Can you please find Sara some fresh clothes and soap and show her to the bathing area?” Ava turns to Sara who is looking back at her curiously. “It’s just, I’d take you myself but I have so much to do, and—”

“I get it,” Sara says, nodding at her. “You’re the General, you can’t spend all your time with some girl you don’t even know. Zari, right?” Sara says, directing the last part at Zari.

Zari nods, looking from Sara to Ava. “Of course, follow me,” she says, and then, with one last glance shared between Ava and Sara, the two of them are off, leaving Ava to her duties.

 

Ava’s stomach growls, making her first destination easy to determine — breakfast. She has just picked up her share when Gary appears right in front of her, ever-present grin plastered on his face, making Ava jump, her chainmail ringing ever so slightly.

“Lieutenant Green,” she says with a nod, making sure her breakfast is still in its bowl.

“A few reports came in while you were gone yesterday. They’re all in the war tent,” he says, changing his position so he’s walking next to Ava.

“Thank you,” she says, switching directions to take her to the war tent.

“I thought about telling you last night, but you looked so tired and you need your sleep—”

“I appreciate your concern, Gary, I will see them now.”

Gary looks relieved, chest deflating as he lets out a breath. “Will the woman from yesterday be joining our cause?” he asks, eyes lighting up with excitement.

Ava stops, just for a second, before she continues walking as if nothing had happened. Would Sara be staying with them? She had meant to ask her about it earlier, but the way Sara talked made her forget everything she had come there to do. Her stomach turns at the thought of Sara leaving, and it is absolutely ridiculous, but Ava cannot seem to calm it.

“I don’t know,” she sighs, pushing apart the entrance to the war tent. “Why don’t you go make sure that her tent is comfortable to sleep in?”

“Right away, General,” he smiles, pleased with his assignment.

Ava lets out a breath when she is finally alone, sitting down in front of her new reports, carefully placing her bowl and cup on the table. She draws a knife from her boot to open them with, lifting a spoonful of breakfast to her lips as she carefully cuts away the wax seal of the first report with the other.

The first report, originating from one of their scouting parties, tells her nothing useful other than the fact that her troops are still alive. She had sent them to an area they had been certain the Empire had sent soldiers to, but the scouts can find no trace of them. Ava sighs, pushing the report away as she pulls the other report to her.

This one has been sent from Captain Palmer, one of her finest captains, currently traveling with Captain Heywood. What the report contains has a shiver running down Ava’s back. The report is written in Captain Palmer’s own hand, and he writes that he has found Nora Darhk — the daughter of the tyrant at the head of the Empire — and that she has joined their side.

Ava closes her eyes, hoping that Ray knows what he is doing. If he is wrong and has allowed a spy into their midsts, a spy that he so readily trusts, Ava does not know what they will do. Ray’s kind heart is needed in times like this, but sometimes even he needs to see the darkness residing in their world.

 

***

 

Ava rubs her neck, letting out a breath as she is finally alone for the day. After going through the new reports and fashioning a response to them, her day had been filled with things to do. She has not even gotten the chance to see Sara and ask how she is settling in — or, the question that seems to always be present at the back of Ava’s mind, if she is planning to stay — and now all she wants to do is flop down face first in her personal tent. Of course, she is denied that as she almost runs into one of her soldiers.

“Ranger Tomaz,” she says, taking a step back to avoid them crashing into each other.

“General,” Zari says, immediately straightening her back as she stands in front of her general.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Ava narrows her eyes, putting one hand behind her back as the other holds her torch high.

“To see you, actually,” Zari sighs, looking around herself frantically.

“Well, here I am.”

“Can we talk somewhere more private?” Despite how tired Ava is, she nods, gesturing to the closest tent with her arm. They walk into it quickly, finding it empty, and Zari seals the entrance behind her.

Once inside, Ava nods expectantly at Zari, wondering what she has to say.

Zari takes a moment, figuring out how to word whatever it is she wants to say. “Do you think it’s wise to let a stranger walk around the camp unsupervised?” she asks, eyes looking directly into Ava’s. Zari is one of the few people under Ava’s command who dares to look at her and speak so boldly, something Ava has always respected.

And yet, as it dawns on her that Zari is talking about Sara, Ava feels something akin to defensiveness. “She is a survivor of an Empire attack, what nefarious business could she be up to?” Ava asks, crossing her arms.

“Right, and don’t you think it’s strange that she’s the _only_ survivor of the attack? Everyone else in that village died—”

“They could have fled,” Ava interrupts, understanding where Zari’s concern is coming from but not sharing it. “Sara chose to stay and fight and the Empire almost killed her for it. There were some dead in the village, but we can’t know that no one made it out alive.”

Zari averts her gaze, looking like she is debating whether or not to argue more. She settles on a short nod, her eyes returning to Ava. “Of course, General,” she says, turning around to leave.

“I appreciate the concern and you coming to me,” Ava says, offering Zari a smile. Zari nods again and then she is gone, leaving Ava alone once more.

 

***

 

Before going to her own tent, Ava makes her way to check up on Sara, telling herself that she is only doing it because Sara’s tent is on the way to her own. She finds Sara already asleep and decides against waking her up to check on her wound, almost certain Amaya has already done so. She spends a moment longer than necessary watching Sara sleep.

There is not much light in the tent, most of it coming from the moon outside and the light glow from Ava’s torch, but even in the poor lighting Ava can see the difference Sara’s bath has made. Her golden locks are completely free of dirt, spreading out around her head like a halo. Her new clothes — Ava thinks they are just about as dark as her old ones, although that could be a trick of the light — are completely whole and seemingly dirt-free as well. And her face is smooth, cheeks looking soft to the touch, the only sign that anything had happened being the cut on her upper lip.

Ava hears the footsteps of someone walking behind her and nearly jumps. It is only one of her soldiers, walking their nighttime patrol, not even paying much attention to Ava. Ava sighs, letting the opening to Sara’s tent fall close as she continues on her path to her own tent.

The moment she steps foot inside her tent, sleep calls on her like a siren. The sleep she had gotten the night before had not been optimal, they had gotten back too late for that, but as the general she could not postpone getting up by much, even with Gary running around the camp. She barely has the mind to remove her chainmail before she lets slumber claim her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay in this chapter, I just haven't had the energy lately to go through the last edits and stuff but I finally managed to do it.  
> Huge thanks to @Starling83 for her continued work in betaing this fic <3

Ava is on her way to see off a squad when Sara almost runs into her. Ava’s arms shoot out instinctively, stopping Sara before they can collide. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, quickly running her eyes over Sara to check for any new injuries.

“Ava! Just the person I wanted to see!” Sara says, completely ignoring her question.

“Do you need anything?” Ava asks, continuing on her path with Sara following.

“Yes, actually. I’ve always been a big fan of drawing, daddy got me into it as a kid ‘cause I would never leave him alone, and now ever since—” Sara draws a deep breath, looking away from Ava— “ever since he was taken from me, drawing has made me feel closer to him. _But_ ,” Sara continues, looking back at Ava as if the past few seconds never happened, “my drawing supplies were lost in the fire. So, I was wondering if you’d be okay with me searching for some supplies? What with me sleeping in a storage tent and all I’m sure there must be _something_ —”

“Of course,” Ava says, smiling as she puts a hand on Sara’s back, turning them around towards Sara’s tent. “I’m sure we’ll be able to find something.”

“Oh, you don’t have to come with, I just wanted to hear from you if you were okay with me going through your stuff and—” Sara stops talking as they enter her tent. Ava soon spots why — some supplies have already been lain out on top of a crate. “Better to ask forgiveness than permission?” Sara says sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand.

Ava shakes her head, barely containing a new smile as she looks at Sara again. “I suppose it is only fitting you get to use whatever supplies you can find here, since you are sleeping amongst this mess for the moment.”

“Thank you!” Sara says, throwing one arm around Ava’s neck, the other securely gripping her walking staff. Ava freezes at the action, awkwardly putting one arm around Sara after what feels like an eternity. “Sorry,” Sara says, averting her gaze as she pulls back.

“No, it’s, I didn’t— It wasn’t unwelcome,” Ava says, cringing at her own words. Her words were worth it, however, as Sara sends her a brilliant grin in return. “Hey, did you give any more thought to if you’re joining us or not?” 

Sara draws her brows together, glancing down at her feet before looking back up at Ava. “What role would I get if I stayed?” she asks, blue eyes shining as Ava looks into them.

“Most new recruits get assigned to one of my captains or a smaller squadron,” Ava says, not sure why the words make her heart beat faster.

“So I’d be sent away?” Sara asks, crossing her arms in front of her as she gazes to the side of the tent. “Away from you?”

Ava swallows, averting her own eyes as she starts speaking. “If you got assigned to one or the others, yes. We rarely take on new recruits here.” Sara bites her lip, and Ava feels inexplicably saddened at the face Sara is making. “But,” she continues, looking fully back at Sara, hoping that Sara will do the same, “I sometimes need new recruits too.” Sara perks up at her words, blue eyes moving back to Ava.

“I… need some more time to decide, if that’s alright,” Sara says, looking to the drawing supplies instead of at Ava.

“Of course,” Ava says, offering her a light smile. “I should go, I have to see off one of my squads, say some inspiring words and all that,” Ava says, backing away towards the tent’s opening. In truth, she is not fond of the inspiring words she must give, knowing that some or all of the soldiers she sends out may not come back, but she knows it is necessary for winning the war. “I’ll see you.”

“See you,” Sara says, right before Ava disappears out of her sight.

 

***

 

A few days later, Ava finds herself with surprisingly little to do. She supposes it is a good time to get some training in, the past few days have been too busy for her to do much of it. She foregoes her chainmail and finds a dull training sword, not wanting to damage anything or anyone she might fight against.

The training ground is almost completely empty, with everyone either out on a mission, sleeping from being on late duty, or having a moment of fun elsewhere, trying to forget the war for a moment. Wherever they are all off to, Ava appreciates the quiet. She has always preferred to train on her own, bar whoever she might be sparring with. She finds a training dummy that looks to be in decent shape and swings her sword, letting the movements flow through her.

As she loses herself in the motions, Rip and Bennett’s words from when she was younger run through her mind — how to swing, how to dodge, how to think, anything she might need while fighting the Empire. They have trained her for all of this from she was young. Ava has never gotten a straight answer as to why — why they looked at a baby and saw their future leader. Maybe it was as simple as being able to form the baby into whichever leader they wanted.

As Ava continues her training, sweat running down her temple, she wonders if she grew up to be the person they wanted her to be. In any case, they had gotten a leader in her. When their previous one perished in battle — an old man Ava had only met a handful of times but who had a personal quarrel with Darhk, the Empire’s leader — the council had been unanimous in their decision to make Ava the new one. Ava accepted, of course, as any good soldier would.

Every day, she hopes she lives up to her people’s expectations and, more importantly, their needs. 

She takes a small break, leaning on her sword with one hand as she fishes her necklace out from underneath her tunic with the other, tracing the white canary symbol there. She does not quite know why — maybe simply because she has had it for as long as she can remember — but touching the metal canary, the symbol of the Rebellion, has always calmed her.

“Tired already?” a cheeky voice asks out of nowhere, making Ava jump, training sword properly in her hand once more.

“Sara,” she breathes, relaxing her sword arm. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” Sara takes a moment to look her over, and Ava feels an unexplainable wave of self-consciousness wash over her. “You really showed that dummy who’s boss.”

“Someone has to make sure there’s no dummy revolt,” Ava says with a shrug, looking over at the dummy that is now looking a tad ruffled.

“And who better to do it than the general of the Rebellion forces. Although, the dummy doesn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight. Want someone who will fight back?” Sara grabs hold of her walking stick, looking like she is about to lift herself from where she is sitting on the ground.

Ava’s eyes quickly run over her, skipping over the drawing supplies in her lap right to her leg. Ava cannot see the bandage under her trousers, but she knows that it is still there. “How’s your leg?”

“It’s much better,” Sara says, biting her lip as she looks down at it. “Almost fully healed.”

“I’ll take you up on the offer once it _is_ fully healed. If you’re still here after, that is.” Ava looks away, chest suddenly hurting as she thinks of the possibility that Sara might not be there in a couple days. Her leg has gotten a lot better — the bandages are almost not needed anymore and she walks more with her leg than her walking stick. Ava is not even quite sure why she still bothers carrying the long piece of wood around.

“Fine,” Sara sighs, letting her staff fall back to the ground. “Go back to the dummy, but you at least have to let me watch. After all, I should know what my possible future general is capable of, shouldn’t I?” The way she poses the question, Ava cannot help but think it is not her fighting capabilities that Sara is talking about, but she cannot think of what else she could mean.

“If you show me what you’re drawing,” Ava counters, curious eyes falling to Sara’s new book.

Sara looks down on it as well, hands and knees obscuring it from Ava’s view. “After you’re done,” Sara agrees with a quick nod.

Ava returns the nod before getting back into position, facing the dummy. As she once more starts up her assault on it, she is more aware of Sara’s eyes on her than anything else, despite not being able to see her.

 

After what feels like hours of training, Ava finally hangs the training sword back on its rack. She grabs her waterskin, drinking almost all of it in one go, then makes her way over to Sara, letting the entire length of her body fall onto the ground next to her.

“You okay there?” Sara asks, a small giggle in her voice.

“I’m good,” Ava pants, throwing one hand over her eyes to block out the sun. She feels Sara’s eyes on her as she takes a few seconds to catch her breath. Once she has it decently under control, she pushes herself up with her hands so she is sitting next to Sara. “Now, I believe I was promised the first look on your drawing.”

Sara chews her lip, hands currently covering the page that Ava is curious to see. “Promise you won’t be mad,” she says, a hint of anxiety in her voice.

Ava does not know what comes over her, but she covers one of Sara’s hands with her own, gently stroking Sara’s thumb with hers. She looks up from their hands to Sara’s eyes, finding Sara already looking at her, something akin to vulnerability in her eyes.

Ava is about to say something when she feels movement underneath her hand and her eyes are drawn down to the page being uncovered. “Wow,” she exclaims, eyes running over the drawing. “It’s beautifully done.”

She softly traces the lines of it with the tip of her finger, finding what the stunning drawing is supposed to depict unbelievable. But, no matter how much more beautiful the drawing is, there is no mistaking its likeness to Ava, her sword raised high. Ava almost laughs when she notices the dummy in the corner, made to look like something monstrous in Empire armor.

“It’s nothing compared to the real version,” Sara says, blue eyes looking straight at Ava. Ava blushes, focusing on the drawing rather than Sara, blaming the impossibly quick beating of her heart on the workout she just endured.

“That’s for sure, real version’s a lot more grumpy,” a voice says right behind them, making Ava jump.

When she looks at the voice’s owner, she rolls her eyes. “Charlie,” she breathes, looking from Charlie’s mischievous eyes to Sara’s confused ones. “Charlie is our best scout and infiltrator, who I didn’t think was coming back just yet,” Ava tells Sara, directing the last bit at Charlie.

“Mission got done early,” Charlie shrugs. “Won’t be staying for long though, on the way back we got some intel that they’re hitting a village about a day’s ride from here.”

Ava nods, pushing herself off the ground and noticing Sara do the same. “Take whoever you want, but I want a list of names by the time you leave.”

“Of course, boss,” Charlie says, offering Ava a lazy salute. “And, before you ask, I already handed a mission report to Gary. Who’s the new girl?” Charlie looks at Sara, tilting her head. Out of the corner of her eye, Ava notices Sara standing straighter, meeting Charlie’s gaze.

“I’m Sara,” she says, gripping her stick tightly.

After a couple of seconds more of just the two of them staring at each other, Charlie nods, relaxing as she looks back at Ava. “Right, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go look for Z and ‘Maya.”

Ava says a quick goodbye, watching Charlie’s retreating form. She has been gone for a couple of weeks on her latest mission, and Ava knows that even though she would never be quick to admit it out loud, Charlie always misses her soulmate and her twin when she is away from them. Ava smiles at the thought of their reunion.

“Is it healthy to run out on mission after mission?” Sara asks, curiously watching where Charlie disappears to.

“Good luck getting that one to stay still,” Ava snorts, shaking her head. “Charlie will be fine, she doesn’t know her own limits but Zari and Amaya do, and they would never let her leave if they didn’t think she’d be fine.”

Sara nods, a thoughtful expression on her face. “And you don’t pick her squad for her?”

“Well, I often do, for everyone, but I trust Charlie to know who she needs with her, and she knows almost everyone here, so really there’s no one more qualified to pick her squad than she is.”

“And she can pick anyone she wants?”

“Yes, well, she’s not allowed to pick like the chef, or Gary, or someone else we need here, but yeah. Why so curious?” Ava furrows her brow at Sara, surely all this must be boring to her.

“I’m a curious person,” Sara shrugs, smirking up at Ava. Something in Sara’s expression changes before she says her next words. “I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you for the show, I’d love to do it again sometime.” She waves at Ava and then she is gone before Ava can even think of an answer. 

She sighs, making her way back to the war tent to go over Charlie’s report.

***

Ava frowns when she does not see Sara at breakfast. Barring Sara’s first morning at the camp, she had never failed to tell Ava good morning either before or during breakfast, almost as if she had an affinity for when Ava chose to eat. Not that that is a big secret, Ava tries to get up and do her morning routine the same time every day. Which makes Sara’s absence worrying.

She tries to go through breakfast without thinking much of it. Maybe Sara got up earlier than Ava and went to take a bath or something, or maybe she is still sleeping, hidden away in her storage-turned-bedroom. Either way, Ava has more important things to worry about. Like the squad Charlie took with her in the morning. Ava has not gone over the list yet, as Charlie had not finished it before Ava had gone to bed. Checking the squadt and seeing who is missing from camp is at the top of her to do list.

Thinking about Sara is not even on her to-do list. Sara’s leg is nearly healed and she can take care of herself in a camp full of allies. There is absolutely no reason for Sara to greet Ava every morning. In fact, Ava does not care what she is doing. She only cares about finishing breakfast so she can do her duties for the day, or so Ava chooses to believe.

She sighs, swallowing the last of her food. Grabbing her plate and cup, she gets up from the bench she was sitting on and heads in the direction of the cook’s tent. Once she has deposited the dishes, she makes her way to the war tent, curious to see who Charlie took with her to the enemy camp.

It does not take her long to locate the note, which has the words “Read Me” written on the back in big, messy letters. Ava shakes her head, grabbing the slip of paper and turning it around. She quickly reads through the names, making a mental note of whose patrols she will have to reassign. Zari being at the top of the list comes as no surprise to Ava.

She finishes going through it and makes to put it back down when she processes the last name on the list and brings it back up. She reads it again, certain her eyes are deceiving her, but no matter how many times her eyes take in the letters, the name does not change. “SARA” continues to stare back at her defiantly.

Charlie cannot have taken Sara. Ava does not even know how well she fights when completely uninjured, let alone if her leg has healed enough to allow her to fight properly. The logical part of her knows that it is almost fully healed and should not be an issue, but the last time she saw her she was still leaning a small amount of her weight on her walking stick.

Regardless of Sara’s leg, she has not even agreed to be in the Rebellion yet. Going on a Rebellion mission before joining seems counterintuitive. And why would she not ask Ava first? Or at the very least tell her her intent. Charlie Ava gets, she has never much cared for Ava’s opinion on who she takes as long as she thinks they make a good fit for what she needs, so her taking Sara without a word does not come as a surprise.

Still, Charlie has always had an aversion to taking the greenest recruits, scared that they will not be able to follow through. So, not telling Ava makes sense, but taking Sara in the first place? Ava cannot make sense of it.

She does not notice that she has made her hand into a fist until she looks down, spotting the now crumbled note. She puts it back down on the table with more force than necessary, then marches outside, looking for her lieutenant. It does not take her long to find him.

“Gary!” she calls, striding up to him.

“Yes, General?” he asks, giving her an enthusiastic salute.

“Do you know when Charlie left the camp?” Ava does not know what she will do with the information, but it seems like the only thing to ask.

Gary uses his fingers to count something, his brows drawn together as he does so. “I think three hours ago?” he says, more a question than a statement.

“Do you know if Sara was with them?”

Gary seems to think even harder before giving his answer. “Yes, I think she was!”

Ava nods. Three hours is too long to even think of finding them, but Ava has no idea what she was planning to do even if she could. Sara chose to go with Charlie and not say anything, and until they come back, there is nothing Ava can do about it.

“Thank you, Gary,” she says, turning around so she can continue on with the rest of her duties and _not_ think of Sara.

***

The next few days pass without much incident. Reading and sending reports keeps Ava busy, and thoughts of a certain blonde definitely do not make her worried. She is worried about the squad Charlie took with her, of course, as she always is. Any of the people Ava signs off on going anywhere and not returning is always at the front of Ava’s mind. But she is not worried about anyone specific. Only the group as a whole and that every one of them returns.

Which is why, when she hears calls of riders approaching, she does not search them for a blonde head. She goes through every single head to count them, making sure that as many as had left made it back, but she is not searching for any one head in particular.

Her heart stops beating for a moment when she does not spot any hint of blonde hair in the group, however. She is certain she has counted as many people as Charlie took with her, but there are a million different reasons as to why they might be returning with someone they did not leave with.

The horses are pulled to a stop and the riders all dismount, with Charlie at their head. Right behind her, Zari pushes away from her horse, walking towards her soulmate. Charlie grins as she looks back at her. Behind Zari— Ava’s breath catches in her throat. Behind Zari, a rider pulls down their hood and golden hair flows out from it, framing the person’s face.

Sara catches Ava’s gaze and smiles at her, bringing her hand up in a small wave. Ava returns the smile, before she remembers that Sara left without a word, without even letting Ava know if she was joining the Rebellion or not. The smile falls from her lips as Sara approaches her, right behind Charlie and Zari, the rest of the soldiers returning to their tents for the night.

“General,” Charlie says, doing a mock salute as she comes to stop.

“Scout,” Ava nods, moving her hands behind her back as she looks at them.

“Hey,” Sara says, mouth still curved up in a smile.

Ava does not miss Zari’s face contorting as she hears Sara speak, before she schools it into something more neutral. “General,” she says, voice strained.

“Ranger Tomaz,” Ava says, looking between her and Sara. Ava also does not miss Sara briefly glaring at Zari. “How did the mission go?” Ava directs the question at Charlie, but Zari is the one who opens her mouth.

“It would have gone better if—” she starts, before Charlie interrupts her.

“It went as well as it could, with when we got there,” she says, giving Zari a pointed look. “Let’s discuss it in private?”

Ava nods, turns around, and walks towards the war tent, assuming the other three people follow. The sound of footsteps following her assures her that they do.

When she enters the tent, she spins around again, leaning against the table in the middle of the room. Charlie stops a couple of steps away from her, with Zari flanking her right side and Sara flanking the other.

“What happened?” she asks, looking straight at Charlie.

“We got there too late to evacuate the village,” she starts, a fire burning behind her eyes. “The Empire wasn’t done, though, and most of the villagers were alive when we got there. We fought them off, each of our soldiers fighting as bravely as ever, _and_ we got one of Darhk’s big boys.” Charlie reaches her hand into her pocket. When she pulls it back out, she has a red cloth with a black canary sigil on it.

Ava reaches out for it and almost feels the white canary hanging underneath her tunic burning against her skin as she traces the black one. It does not actually burn her, of course, but rage builds in Ava at the thought of the Empire twisting the Rebellion’s symbol for their own.

“And what’s this?” Ava asks, gesturing between Zari and Sara. The last thing she needs is her own soldiers fighting each other.

“That is nothing,” Charlie says, trying to sound cheerful, but Zari’s death glare ruins it.

“She let someone go,” Zari says, eyes fixed on Ava.

There is a loud sigh from Charlie’s left side, followed by Sara opening her mouth and glaring at Zari. Ava frowns, even more confused than before.

“It was needless to kill him!” Sara says, fisting her hand.

“Instead you left him alive so that he can kill countless more.” As she speaks, Zari turns to face Sara completely.

“He was _unarmed_ and defenseless. I thought you were supposed to be the good guys, and you’re gonna run around killing every single person you see who isn’t on your side?” Sara takes a step towards Zari, fiery, blue eyes fixed on her.

Ava sighs. She knows what it is like to be faced with someone defenseless on the field. Killing someone who does not fight back has never been on her agenda, and she cannot count the number of times someone’s helmet has fallen off only to reveal the face of a kid underneath it.

Ava takes a step forward, puts two of her fingers into her mouth, and whistles. That makes everyone’s attention turn back to her. “I will not have an act of mercy be seen as something terrible,” she says, looking at Zari. Zari clenches her jaw but nods. “And I will not have my own soldiers fighting!” she continues, looking between all three of them.

“Sorry,” Sara says, averting her gaze, followed by a mumbled apology from Zari as well.

“Next time you’re taking a new recruit, you ask me about it first,” Ava says, turning all her attention to Charlie.

“Aye, aye,” Charlie says, looking only a little apologetic.

“You two—” Ava points to Zari and Charlie— “are dismissed, you—” she points to Sara— “are staying.” Sara nods, looking at her curiously, as Charlie and Zari make for the exit. Ava briefly catches Charlie’s hand moving to Zari’s arm and Charlie calmly whispering Zari’s nickname.

“Did I do something wrong?” Sara asks, voice uncertain, taking Ava’s attention back to her. 

“How is your leg?” Ava asks, ignoring the question.

Sara frowns, looking down at it. “I think it’s fully healed,” she says, moving it around.

“Good.” Ava moves back to the table, leaning on it once more. “And what does this mean, you going on a mission with Charlie? Without notice, I might add.”

“You were the one who said you didn’t care who Charlie picked.” Sara raises an eyebrow at her, taking a step towards her.

“I care when she takes someone on a mission who hasn’t told me if she wants to join or not.”

“Oh,” Sara says, biting her lip. “I want to fight them.” Sara fists her hand once more, averting her gaze from Ava’s. “I want to make them pay for all that they’ve done. But—” she looks at Ava once more, blue eyes now gone soft and so piercing that Ava feels like they’re staring right into her soul— “I don’t want you to send me somewhere else. Ava, please.” Sara closes the distance between them, grabbing onto Ava’s arm with her hand.

Ava swallows at the sudden closeness. Her skin feels like it is burning where Sara touches her, even through her clothing. “You want to stay here?” she asks dumbly, unable to do anything but continue to stare into Sara’s eyes.

“Please,” Sara repeats, running her hand down the length of Ava’s arm. “I know that you usually send new recruits away but—” Sara looks down, her fingers tentatively brushing the skin of Ava’s hand— “Please don’t make me go.” She moves her eyes upwards again, searching Ava’s face.

“Okay,” Ava whispers, feeling like there is a path of fire from where Sara had initially touched her to the back of her hand. “Okay, Sara… do you have a family name? Or do you just go by Sara?” she asks, suddenly realizing she has never heard Sara share another name.

“Do you go by anything other than Ava?” Sara shoots back, arching one of her brows.

“Fair enough,” Ava sighs, looking down to where Sara’s hand is still oh so close. “Sara no-other-name, you are officially a part of the Rebellion and your current orders are to stay in this camp, joining the soldiers who report directly to me.

Sara grins, flashing Ava the brightest smile she has ever seen, and lightly touches the back of Ava’s hand one last time, before her stomach growling makes her take a step back.

“You should be just in time for supper,” Ava chuckles, gesturing to the tent’s exit with her head.

Sara smiles sheepishly, thanking her again before running out of the tent in search of food.


	4. Chapter 4

“Come with me.” Ava does not wait for Sara’s reply, she just simply turns around and starts walking. If Sara wants to be one of her soldiers, she will follow the command instead of waiting for her general to explain herself.

“Where are we going?” Ava shakes her head mentally — at least Sara is following her while questioning her orders.

“If you’re going to be one of my soldiers, I need to assess your fighting skills.” Ava glances over her shoulder, watching as realization dawns on Sara’s face.

“Okay,” she nods, walking easily next to Ava, “but we need to make a quick stop by my tent first.”

“What do we need from your tent?” Ava asks, stopping and turning around to face her. Sara continues walking but turns around so she is looking at Ava as she does so, making Ava have to follow her.

“You’ll see,” she says, arching an eyebrow.

Ava sighs but follows her the whole way to her tent.

“Alright, what is it that is so important that you had to go get it?” Ava asks once they’re there.

“This,” Sara says, picking up the walking stick she had not used since she went with Charlie.

“What are you going to do with that? I thought your leg was healed.” If there is worry in Ava’s voice, it is only because Sara is her responsibility now.

“It is. I need it to fight.” Sara shrugs, twirling the staff around in her hands. Ava is certain she is going to hit something in the small space, but somehow she manages to avoid it. “Now, are we going or what?” Sara asks, backing out of the tent’s opening.

Ava sighs, once more starting on a path to the training grounds.

 

Once they make it to the training grounds, Ava gestures for Sara to walk up to a dummy. Sara frowns, following the order but looking at Ava curiously.

“Show me what you can do,” Ava says, nodding at the training dummy.

Sara narrows her eyes, burying the end of her staff in the dirt. “Nuh-uh,” she says, crossing her arms around the staff. Ava definitely does not think she looks cute like that.

“Excuse me?” she says, taking a step towards Sara, hands fisted behind her back.

Sara meets her gaze, an innocent expression in her eyes. “You promised that once my leg was good, you’d spar with me.” She raises an eyebrow, looking expectantly at Ava.

Ava takes a deep breath, the fondness that has grown for Sara over the last couple of weeks warring with the fact that she is now under Ava’s command. “And I will, once you show me that you’re well enough for it.”

“You’re just scared I’ll beat you,  _ General _ .” As she speaks, Sara uncrosses her arms, once more grabbing her staff as she determinedly walks towards Ava, stopping just a step away from her.

Ava feels her nails dig into her palm as she stares into Sara’s defiant gaze. She should order Sara to do as told or even take a break, telling Sara that she has no time for this and will come back later. Instead, her gaze drifts to the weapons rack, her fingers itching to hold one of the weapons on display.

“Fine, but don’t blame me if you find yourself on the ground.”

“We’ll see who ends up where.” Ava can hear the smirk in Sara’s voice as she walks over to fetch a training sword.

 

Ava tightens her hold on her sword, watching Sara with inquisitive eyes. She wants to make sure she does not go too hard, especially when all Sara has to defend herself with is a wooden stick, so she waits for Sara to make the first move. Sara tilts her head, watching Ava as she twirls her staff in one hand. 

Sara’s tongue pokes out as she continues to observe her, and the moment Ava’s attention is drawn to it, Sara advances, moving to strike Ava with her staff. Ava barely registers it in time to raise her sword to deflect it, her body moving on instinct.

Sara pulls back, raising her staff in the air to block Ava’s responding blow. Despite the blade’s bluntness, it makes a chip in the wooden staff. Sara turns the staff around in her hands, trying to use it to her advantage, but Ava just manages to pull the blade back to herself before she can do it.

Both of them return to their starting positions then, watching for the other to make a move. Ava has to admit, Sara seems to know what she is doing with that staff, despite Ava’s low expectations of the makeshift weapon. Still, Ava decides to take it slow, not wanting to overwhelm her.

Ava waits for Sara to attack again but it appears Sara has no intention of initiating this time. She just simply watches Ava with a patience Ava did not know she had. Gripping her sword tightly, Ava advances, letting her sword arm move out of instinct. Sara dodges the blow quite skillfully, then tries to strike Ava’s legs with her staff. Ava just barely twirls out of its reach, stretching her sword out towards Sara only to keep some distance between them.

Despite how little they have sparred, Ava can already say with certainty that Sara is superior to the average recruit.

“I thought your father was a guard,” she says, curious as to how Sara gained her skill. Last she checked, most guards were not better than her soldiers.

“I didn’t say he was the only one who trained me,” Sara smirks, her blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

Before Ava has a chance to respond to Sara’s vague answer, Sara charges her again with her staff raised, ready to strike.

Ava blocks the blow, then advances, delivering a flurry of blows to Sara’s defenses, wanting to see how much she can take. Sara stumbles back, blocking the attacks but letting herself be pushed back to the edge of the training grounds. 

With one final swing of Ava’s sword, Sara’s foot catches on something, making her lose her balance. Ava instinctively reaches for her, worry taking over. Sara’s staff drops to the ground as she grabs onto Ava’s hand, but instead of letting Ava steady her, she pulls on it, bringing Ava down with her. 

Ava drops the sword to the side so she can brace herself with her hand, burying it in the dirt before she can crush Sara with her body. She sighs out of momentary relief. 

The relief does not last long. Sara’s face is almost innocent as she looks up at her with a grin - a stark contrast to the sharp blade Ava feels pressing against her side, just underneath her chainmail. Ava freezes, wondering where Sara even got a dagger considering her weapon of choice. 

“Well played,” she sighs, shaking her head at letting herself be played. 

“I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d be so easy to beat,” Sara says, arching a brow as she pulls the dagger away. 

“You’ll have to excuse me for not wanting my soldiers to get hurt if I can help it.” Ava feels Sara’s chest vibrate underneath her hand as Sara lets out a chuckle in response. The action makes Ava aware of where she had grabbed Sara — her hand gone for the closest thing at the moment, which happened to be Sara’s tunic — and that her hand is still on her, with one of Sara’s hands locked around her wrist. 

Sara’s hand releases its hold, moving instead to push some stray hair that has escaped Ava’s bun out of her face. Ava cannot decide if her heart is beating impossibly fast or not at all as she catches her breath, eyes trained on Sara’s face. Sara lets her fingers linger on her cheek as she catches Ava’s gaze, eyes glistening with something Ava cannot place. 

Her eyes move lower on Ava’s face and her palm cups Ava’s cheek. Before Ava knows it, Sara lifts her head from the ground, hand holding Ava’s head in place. 

Ava feels completely frozen, like she has forgotten how to move even the smallest muscle. Sara’s breath hits her lips and a voice in the back of her head is screaming for Ava to let go. 

Sara’s lips are almost so close that Ava can feel them. Right before they can get close enough, Ava pulls her head away, rolling off of her. 

“I can’t,” she breathes, feeling like her entire body is on fire. 

“I’m sorry,” Sara says quickly, pushing herself up to her feet. 

“Sara, wait!” Ava calls, struggling to get herself up from the ground, but Sara is already running away, not even sparing Ava a glance. Ava lets herself fall back onto the ground, cursing everything that just happened. 

 

The rest of the day, Sara avoids her. Ava sees her once, when the camp is called for supper, but the moment Sara lays eyes on her, she turns in another direction as if food is not on her agenda. And that is all she sees of her. Part of her swears Sara is better at being stealthy than Charlie, either that or she has simply found a spot Ava does not visit during her day to day.

In any case, Ava has not spoken to her since their sparring and…  _ whatever _ it was that happened at the end of it. Which should be fine. Ava has gone days without speaking to people in her camp and sometimes weeks without speaking to those she is closest to when either she or they are out on patrol. Not speaking to Sara is fine.

Except it isn’t.

Except there is something in Ava that  _ needs _ to know that they are okay. That what passed between them, what Ava stopped from happening, did not ruin the friendship they built over the past few weeks.

Which is absurd. Ava is the general of the Rebellion forces, she does not have time to care about making friends with her soldiers. She certainly should not  _ need _ anyone. 

Ava sighs, letting tired legs carry her into the war tent to read over the last few reports for the night. She only finds a single sealed letter lying on the table. She quickly breaks the seal, weary eyes taking in the words. Her heart cries over what she reads.

The entire squadron she sent out just a few days ago, save a couple, died during an Empire siege. Ava crumples the paper in her hand, wanting nothing more than to bury her blade in Damien Darhk’s chest. Her mind immediately wanders to all the families she will have to write, all the families who will never see the member they sent off to war.

She puts the letter back down on the table, smoothing it out so she can see the names of the two still alive. All she can hope for now is their safe return.

A yawn escapes her lips when she makes to stand up properly. The letters will have to wait until morning, she thinks, her body yearning for the comfort of her own tent. 

 

Ava sheds her armor as soon as she reaches her tent, out of the view of her soldiers. She feels the strong pull of sleep and yet, there is something in her mind that will not allow it. Bringing a hand up to rub the back of her neck, her thoughts wander to the letter. Involuntarily, her mind pulls up a list of the dead with Sara’s name at the bottom.

Ava closes her eyes, dropping down on top of her blankets. She lets out a breath as she pulls her legs to her, gently resting her hands on her knees. The words from her trainer that taught her how to clear her head repeat in her mind, clear as the day they had been spoken to her. As she sits there, she slowly feels her worries seep away and she almost enters a trance-like state.

A state she is ripped out of when there is a gentle burn on her leg. It does not hurt, but the unexpectedness of it is enough to make Ava let out a curse as she opens her eyes. She looks down at her leg, pushing away the fabric of her trousers to look underneath. She finds a small mark she has not seen before, a new scar having found its way onto her body.

She sighs, supposing she should not be surprised that her soulmate has gotten yet another scar. She traces the scar for a moment and her mind wanders to what her soulmate’s reaction is whenever  _ she _ gets a new scar.

A yawn interrupts her thoughts and Ava decides to leave it for another day, the call of sleep too loud for her to do anything else.

 

***

 

A few more days pass and Ava talks to Sara all of two times, if the short words exchanged can even be called talking. When she gets a report from a nearby camp that needs reinforcements, Ava figures it is a good distraction from everything going on and makes up a squad to take with her there, instead of leaving it to one of her soldiers.

Ava thinks she spots a head of blonde hair watching as they leave camp, but that could just be wishful thinking as she only sees it for a second. She shakes her head, willing her thoughts to move on to something else. Sara has made it pretty clear that she does not want to spend time with her anymore and that is just fine with Ava.

 

***

 

When they arrive at the small Rebellion camp, multiple arrows are immediately pointed at them. Ava raises her fist both to signal for her squad to stop and to show the white canary symbol sewn into the wrist of her glove. Someone calls for the archers to stand down and opens the gate, ushering them through.

“I apologize for the arrows, we cannot be too safe in these times,” the captain of the camp, a young woman, says.

“There’s no need for apologies, you do what you have to to defend the camp,” Ava says, shaking the captain’s hand.

The captain nods. “I’m Captain Reese, at your service. You’re the reinforcements we asked for?”

“Yes, we came here as soon as we got word.” Before Ava can say anything else, Amaya comes up to her side.

“General, Captain,” she says, nodding at both of them. “I was wondering if I could gain free range to check on your wounded?” 

Captain Reese just stares at them for a second, before she nods her head vigorously at Amaya. “We would be very grateful.”

Amaya offers a nod and leaves them be.

“You’re the, uh, general? Of the Rebellion?” Captain Reese asks, looking at Ava with wide eyes.

“I am,” Ava says, straightening her back — despite it being impossibly straight from before — and offers Captain Reese a slight nod.

“Oh God, I had my archers point arrows at the general,” she whispers, looking horrified.

“I would have done the same in your place,” Ava assures her. “Please, tell me about why we’re needed here,” she says, hoping to bring Captain Reese’s thoughts away from the way they had been greeted.

“Of course,” she says, clasping her hands. “If you would follow me.”

 

The cause of the camp's problems turns out to be a rivalling Empire camp only a few miles away. Before Ava and her soldiers arrived, the Rebellion camp had almost been defeated by the Empire soldiers. 

They leave camp late the next day, aiming to arrive at the camp at nightfall for the best chance of the enemy not seeing their attack. Their group is not the biggest — a rather big part of Captain Reese's soldiers are out of commission due to the last attack. But with Ava and her soldiers, its big enough to pose a threat. And with the advantage of an ambush, they do not need the bulk of their forces to defeat the camp. Or so Ava hoped.

The battle is over much quicker than anyone thought it would be. Only a few soldiers are standing guard and none of them spot the group approaching in the darkness. The more stealthy soldiers take care of them quickly enough, and then Captain Reese leads the attack through the gates. To Ava, the attack is over in the blink of an eye. Most of the soldiers lay dead from trying to fight back and the survivors have been thrown in the dungeon.

Ava’s squad stays the following night, partaking in the camp’s small celebrations at still being alive. With Amaya’s help, most of the wounded look to be recovering, which only adds onto the reasons for celebrating. Ava thinks about excusing herself early, but finds the celebrations a good distraction to the current state of the land and her personal life.

 

***

 

Back at her own camp, Ava cannot be bothered to greet anyone but Gary before she makes her way as quickly as possible to her tent. It is not particularly late, but Ava is sweaty from the ride and the warm, sunny day, and is eager to get out of her armor and clothing.

Too wrapped up in her thoughts, she does not notice anyone entering the tent until her name is spoken. Ava turns her head, pushing the tunic she just pulled off against her chest.

“Sara,” she sighs, feeling something pull at the corner of her lips as her eyes take in Sara’s familiar face, her freckles even more adorable than usual in the low light of the tent.

“Hey,” Sara says distractedly, eyes trained on Ava’s back. With a start, Ava realizes exactly what is on her back.

“They’re not as bad as they look,” she says, imagining the scars she has ever only seen in mirrors. “Most of them aren’t even mine.” Ava mentally slaps herself, not knowing why she said that.

Sara nods slowly, moving her eyes from Ava’s back to her face. “Your soulmate…”

“Yeah,” Ava confirms, even though Sara had not posed it as a question. She feels weird saying it, yet somehow lighter. She has never mentioned her soulmate or any of their scars to anyone before. Not a lot of people have seen them and those who have assume the scars to be her own.

“It’s a lot, but I don’t mind them,” she says when Sara continues to just stay there. “I don’t know if I’ll ever meet them but at least every new scar means they’re still alive, which I guess counts for something.”

“Right,” Sara says, looking off to the side of the tent. Ava takes the opportunity to fetch a clean tunic, quickly pulling it above her head. “I wanted to ask you something, just after the other day—”

“You want to be reassigned?” Ava cannot help herself from asking the question, her heart sinking in her chest at the thought of Sara possibly leaving.

“What? No!” Sara says, eyes going wide. Relief washes through Ava at her words. “I just wanted to ask if we’re okay. After what happened.” Sara looks so open and vulnerable and Ava’s heart melts at the sight.

“Yeah,” she says softly, offering Sara smile. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

“Good,” Sara says, releasing a long breath. “I will let you get back to whatever you were doing before I intruded.”

“See you tomorrow?” Ava says hopefully.

“See you tomorrow,” Sara confirms before leaving.

Ava cannot help a big smile as she watches the space Sara had previously occupied, a warm feeling spreading through her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to @Starling83 for being awesome and continuing to correct my mistakes on this <3

Ava gratefully accepts the bowl of food she is given. She plans to eat it in the war tent, always enjoying getting as early a start as she can to the day. Only, those plans change when she spots a head of golden hair making its way towards her. Her mouth pulls up in a smile as Sara comes closer.

“Hey,” Ava says, tapping her fingers on her bowl.

“General,” Sara responds with a small bow of her head. When she looks back up, there is a smile adorning her lips and her eyes sparkle. Ava finds herself mesmerized, feeling herself getting lost in the sparkly blue of those eyes.

“Ava?” Sara says, sounding half amused. 

“Hm?” Ava blinks, looking down at the bowl in her hands. 

“You’re kind of in the way of my breakfast.”

“Oh! Sorry,” Ava says sheepishly, quickly stepping to the side.

Sara tilts her head, still smiling as she steps past Ava and grabs her own bowl of food. “Sit with me?” she prompts when she faces Ava again.

“Of course,” Ava says, gesturing for Sara to lead the way.

 

Sara leads them to a space at the edge of camp, away from practically everyone else. Sara plops herself down on the ground, looking expectantly up at Ava as she waits for her to do the same. Ava does so with a sigh, sitting herself down slower than Sara had.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Sara asks, bumping her knee into Ava’s. “Any villages need freeing or Empire squads need dealing with?”

“Paperwork.” Ava cannot hold back a giggle as Sara lets out a groan at the word. “Maybe I’ll read about some villages that need saving. Why? Is being in my camp boring you?”

“Oh, I have  _ lots _ to do,” Sara says, brushing a satchel at her side, the top of her book of drawings poking out of it.

“Have you drawn anything interesting lately?” Ava thinks back to the day Sara had watched her train, the first and only time she has seen any of her drawings. She feels heat rise in her cheeks at the image of herself drawn on the page. The day feels like forever ago, even though in reality it was only a little over a week ago. Then again, Sara has only been with them for about three weeks, so one is not so small. Ava’s heart skips a beat at the thought of how fond she has grown of Sara over such a small space of time.

“If I didn’t think it was interesting, I wouldn’t bother drawing it,” Sara says with a shrug, focusing her attention back on her food.

“May I see?” Ava’s heart inexplicably beats faster as she poses the question and thinks of what Sara’s book might contain.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing you’d want to see.” Sara looks away from her and Ava cannot determine if it is out of shyness or something else.

“If they’re anything like what I’ve already seen, I would be happy to see them.”

“What if it turns out they’re mostly drawings of you?” Sara challenges, with something Ava can’t quite pin down in her eyes.

“Then I would be very flattered, considering the grace you drew me with last time,” Ava says, Sara’s words only making her more curious about any new drawings.

“And what if there are drawings of you shirtless?” Sara arcs an eyebrow, blue eyes feeling like they are piercing Ava’s soul.

Ava’s cheeks heat up more, and Ava is certain there is red on them. “You haven’t drawn me shirtless,” she says, her voice sounding a lot more certain than she feels.

Sara shrugs, loosening the belts of her satchel so she can hand Ava her book. Ava gently accepts it and tentatively opens it. On the first page is the drawing of her that she has already seen. Despite having seen it before, the way Sara had drawn her takes her by wonder.

She flips to the next page, taking care not to hurt the paper as she does so. A drawing of the lake they use to bathe in greets her eyes, along with the small waterfall leading into it and the beautiful nature surrounding it. On the next page is another drawing of Ava, but this time she is standing in front of her troops, hands clasped behind her back as she addresses them. 

The next drawing is a bird’s eye view of the camp, a drawing Sara would have had to climb a tree to be able to get right. A wave of worry washes through her at the thought, but she quickly shakes it away as she continues thumbing through the pages.

“Some of these pages have been ripped out,” Ava notes, tracing the jagged lines of pages no longer there with her finger.

“They were just random drawings I fucked up. They weren’t worthy of being around depictions of beauty like yours,” Sara says, biting her lip.

Ava’s cheeks grow ever hotter as she flips to the next page.

“That should be the end of it,” Sara says, reaching for the book, but she does not reach it before Ava sees the next drawing. Sara’s hand falls limp as Ava’s fingers trace the lines. Ava cannot see it with her eyes locked on the page, but she can feel Sara avoiding her gaze.

Just like promised, there is a drawing of Ava shirtless. Only, it is not a drawing of her front, but rather her back. A very detailed drawing of her back, filled with all of her scars. Ava is impressed by how well Sara remembered them after the small amount of time she saw them.

“Oh,” Ava breathes, glancing up from the book to Sara.

“Told you,” Sara says, once more reaching her hand out for the book. Ava gives it back without protest, moving her eyes to the ground below them.

“They’re very pretty,” she says awkwardly, trying to fill the silence that befalls them.

“Thanks,” Sara says, putting the book back in her satchel. “And thank you for breakfast. It was nice.” She offers Ava a smile as she gathers up her bowl and jumps to her feet, leaving before Ava gets the chance to respond.

 

***

 

The loud sound of metal hitting metal wakes Ava from her slumber. At first, Ava assumes it is merely the night watch getting bored and deciding to duel — it would not be the first time. She is content to go back to sleep, before she hears the yells. As soon as she hears “Empire,” shouted by one of her soldiers, Ava is wide awake.

She is on her feet in seconds, her armor thrown over her tunic and her sword in hand. As soon as she leaves her tent, she spots multiple lights, the torches of her soldiers moving into action. At first glance, there are only a few Empire soldiers within the walls of the camp — scouts sent ahead to lower their numbers no doubt. Ava clenches her jaw as she thinks of how many they may have snuck up on before they were noticed.

Before she can move to do anything, Gary appears right in front of her. Ava almost strikes at him with the suddenness of his appearance, but catches herself just in time.

“Lieutenant Green,” she greets, looking between him and the rest of the camp. Some relief washes through her at seeing that he is still okay.

“They came out of nowhere!” he pants, wide eyed as he looks around them.

Before Ava can respond, a crossbow bolt passes them, just barely missing Ava’s arm. “Go make sure everyone is awake!” Ava says, firmly patting his arm before she moves past him, towards where the bolt had come from.

She locates the enemy soldier easily enough, just as they have loaded another bolt. She dodges out of the way and just as she answers with a blow of her own, the soldier drops the crossbow and draws a sword, blocking her advance. 

It does not help much, a couple more well aimed strikes and her blade meets flesh, the soldier’s body dropping to the ground.

Ava shoots her eyes around the camp, trying to gauge the current state of their defenses. She can now clearly see fighting at the camp’s two main entry points, but her soldiers seem to be holding them for now. She sees no one else inside the camp itself and is about to go join them at the closest gate when movement out of the corner of her eye catches her attention.

She turns her head and finds nothing but shadow. Just her mind playing tricks on her, she thinks. The movement had probably just been some tree branch or tent. Only, just as she is ready to move again, there is another blur, this time close to Sara’s tent. All the blood drains from Ava’s face at the possibility that Sara might still be in it, sleeping soundly through the noise of battle.

Ava’s feet start moving before her mind finishes processing the information. She grips her sword tightly, moving as fast as she can towards the tent. The time it takes her to arrive there passes in a blur, Ava cannot say anything that happened during it. She just knows that suddenly she is looking at the back of a black-clothed person standing on top of Sara with their blade drawn.

“Get away from her!” she yells, raising her sword to strike. Before she can, when Sara’s attacker’s attention is on her, Sara uses her staff to swipe the legs out from underneath them. The next thing Ava knows, the soldier’s dagger is buried in their own chest and Sara’s hand is leaving it.

“Thank you,” Sara says, offering Ava a small smile as she lets her pull her up from the ground.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Ava says while her eyes run over Sara’s body, checking for any injuries. The light is too low to properly see, but Ava cannot find any with the light she does have and for now that will have to be good enough. “They’re attacking the gates, are you good to fight?”

“Always,” Sara says with a nod, grabbing her staff. Before they leave, Sara’s eyes meet Ava’s with a hint of something Ava reads as sadness or worry, or possibly a mix of the two. Sara brushes her hand against Ava’s arm, the touch calming Ava slightly as a warm feeling spreads from the pressure of Sara’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“Let’s go,” Ava affirms, stepping back into the cold night air. She does an immediate sweep of the camp, spotting a small group of Empire soldiers forcing their way through a part of the makeshift wall. She shares a glance with Sara then looks pointedly in their direction, taking Sara with her as she moves towards them.

“Distract them for me,” Sara says, and then she is gone. 

Ava blinks, looking at the spot Sara had just occupied but finding it empty. She lets out a quiet curse, not fond of the idea of not knowing where Sara is or whatever it is she is planning to do. Still, Sara had asked her to distract them, so distract them she will.

She steadies her sword and charges at them, making sure they can see her coming. She can feel her own heartbeat in her temple as she swings at the one closest to her, all of them readying their weapons as they see her.

Her blade is stopped before she can even try to do any damage and then she finds herself having to dodge three incoming attacks. She blocks one of them with her gauntlets, another falls just shy of her arm, and the third bounces off her chain mail. 

When Ava strikes again, her blade slides into the stomach of the person in front of her. Just as it does, there is a sting at Ava’s left side, but she ignores it for now, all of her attention taken by the two soldiers still standing.

Before Ava can do anything else, something wooden hits the back of one of their heads, making them drop to the ground. Part of a second passes and then there is a dagger buried in the side of the last attacker. Sara stands in front of her, breath ragged and blood covering her right hand.

“You good?” she asks, drawing her brows together as she seemingly tries to look Ava over.

“I’m fine,” Ava says, ignoring the dull sting in her side.

“We work well together,” Sara says, a small smile showing on her lips for just a second.

Ava breathes out a reply, and then her attention is drawn to the fighting still going on at the gates. There is less of it now, but it is still there. Ava can only hope that the drop in numbers comes from the Empire soldiers rather than her own.

“We haven’t won yet,” she says, looking at Sara.

Sara nods, moving her eyes from Ava to the gates. “Let’s go finish this.”

 

Thankfully, the attack ends not long after. Ava is grateful to learn that most of her soldiers made it out with minor losses, but her heart cries for the lives they did lose.

“Burn the dead and bring me a list of our losses!” she commands, once everyone is gathered. “And I want the camp  _ thoroughly _ searched for any possible remaining Empire soldiers! Anyone who is wounded, report to Amaya and her team!” Ava catches Amaya’s gaze through the sea of soldiers, and Amaya nods at her, turning to move to her tent as the soldiers begin to scatter.

Once everyone has left, only Gary and Sara remain by her side. “Lieutenant Green, go make sure there is still a night shift and then that all the dead are dealt with,” she orders. 

“Right away, General!” Gary says, giving her a salute before leaving.

Which leaves only her and Sara. As Ava looks at her, images of Sara’s would-be attacker flash through her mind. Images where Ava does not make it to her in time.

“Thank you,” Sara says, bringing the flashes to an end as she presses her hand against Ava’s arm, on the exact same spot she had touched earlier. A jolt spreads through Ava at the action.

“I would have done the same for any of my soldiers,” Ava says, clearing her throat.

“I know, but I’m still grateful.” Sara’s eyes sparkle in the moonlight as she offers Ava an almost bashful smile. Ava holds her breath as Sara slides her hand up to her shoulder, bracing it there as she pushes up on her toes. Ava can only stare as Sara leans closer, until Sara’s lips press warmly against her cheek.

When Sara pulls back, Ava finally releases the breath, feeling her heart beat even faster than it did when she was fighting. “Walk me back to my tent?” Sara asks, brushing her fingers down Ava’s arm as she pulls away.

“Of course,” Ava says, focusing on breathing normally as she walks next to Sara. Sara offers her another smile, taking up a position on Ava’s left side. After they walk for a little while, Sara’s hand, hanging loosely at her side, brushes Ava’s body and a jolt of pain rushes through her. Ava’s hand comes up to hold her side as she lets out a yelp at the sensation.

“Are you okay?” Sara asks, pulling them to a stop.

“I’m fine,” Ava says through clenched teeth, keeping her breath even.

“No, you’re not,” Sara says accusingly, prying Ava’s hand away and lightly touching her own where Ava’s had been. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing,” Ava assures her, trying to take a step back but Sara’s hand holds her back.

“It’s not nothing. Ava, you need to go see Amaya,” Sara insists, her voice tinged with worry.

“Amaya has enough wounded soldiers to deal with. I’ll patch myself up, it won’t be the first time.” Sara’s worry is touching, but Ava has far more important things to deal with than a small scratch.

"Fine. Do you have medical supplies in your tent?” Sara arcs an eyebrow at her, her hand reaching for Ava’s.

“Yes. I will deal with it once I’ve escorted you—”

“Nuh-uh,” Sara interrupts, interlocking their fingers. “We’re gonna go to your tent and then I’m gonna patch you up. I owe you some patching up anyway.”

“You owe me nothing,” Ava says, but she does not object when Sara pulls on her hand, forcing her in the direction of her own tent.

“I want to help you,  _ please _ .” Sara sounds so vulnerable and genuine in her plea that Ava can do nothing but submit to it. She nods at Sara’s head, despite Sara not being able to see her, and wordlessly lets herself be dragged the rest of the way.

Once they get to her tent, Sara lets go of her hand in favor of searching for the medical supplies. “They’re in the bag next to my bedroll,” Ava offers, standing awkwardly in the middle of her own space.

“Take off your clothes,” Sara says as she moves over to the bag in question. Ava only stands there dumbly, her brain not quite catching up to the proper meaning of Sara’s words. Sara sighs when she turns around to find Ava not having done as told. “I need to get to your cut!”

“Right.” Ava pulls off her gauntlets and lets them drop to the ground. Next, she pulls off her sword belt, letting it drop down next to the gauntlets. The chain mail follows, but when she grabs the hem of her tunic, she grows extremely conscious of Sara’s expectant eyes on her.

Ava turns around, a faint blush on her cheeks as she pulls the tunic over her head.

“Good, now sit down,” Sara commands, stepping closer. 

Ava does as she is told, focusing on folding the tunic as she sits down, keeping the fabric in front of her chest. Why she feels the need to cover up, Ava cannot say. Pulling her hair over her right shoulder, Ava does not even think to inspect her own wound, instead she simply just surrenders herself to Sara’s judgment.

“Ava!” Sara exclaims, cold hands touching Ava’s heated skin. “This is definitely not nothing! It’s deep enough that it’ll leave a scar.”

“Oh.” The word escapes Ava’s lips without much emotion. She is well past having to get used to new scars, and if the wound is not bad enough to incapacitate her ability to fight, it is not worth giving priority to. Clearly, Sara thinks otherwise as she sighs behind her.

“You should be more careful,” Sara says, hands momentarily leaving Ava’s side. “This will sting a little,” she says when her hands are back.

“It was during your distraction that I got injured,” Ava defends, drawing in a sharp breath as she feels a needle pierce her skin.

“It was?” Sara asks, her tone falling, reminding Ava of a kicked puppy.

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault,” Ava says, turning her head to glance at Sara over her shoulder.

“If I had gone with you instead of—”

“We took them out so quickly because we worked together like that. Injuries happen in combat, that’s just the way it is.” Ava’s hand twitches, wanting to reach for Sara, but she forces it to keep still in her lap as Sara continues to work on her wound.

“You’re right,” Sara sighs, not sounding fully convinced but not pressing the issue either. 

They sit in silence after, all of Ava’s focus on keeping still as Sara patches her up.

“There,” Sara says, breaking the silence as she smooths her hand over the bandage on top of Ava’s stitches, “all done.”

“Thank you,” Ava whispers, keeping perfectly still as Sara traces her hand from the wound at Ava’s side to her back. Sara slowly moves her fingers to the many scars there, making Ava shiver at her touch. 

Minutes — or possibly hours, for all Ava knows — pass as Sara continues to explore her back, sending jolts of electricity and warmth through Ava’s body with every patch of skin she touches. Ava stops breathing when Sara’s fingers fall down to her lower back and the gentle press of lips touch her topmost scar.

When Sara pulls back, Ava once more looks at her over her shoulder, her eyes searching Sara’s face. What she finds is Sara looking straight at her in return, her breathing appearing slightly more rapidly than normal as those blue eyes look between Ava’s and Ava’s lips.

A moment passes and all they do is look at each other. Another one goes by and Ava’s eyes drop to Sara’s lips, her bottom one drawn between her teeth. During the next moment, Ava leans towards her, watching as the lip is released and Sara’s mouth is parted slightly.

She gets close enough that she can taste Sara’s breath, but, instead of the next moment allowing her to taste Sara’s lips, Ava finds herself having to throw out an arm to brace herself on the ground. Sara pulls back with catlike reflexes, rushing out an apology as she jumps to her feet and runs out of the tent.

Ava lets out a curse, letting herself fall on her back as she lifts the fabric of her tunic to her head, covering her eyes. Why can she not get anything right? And how the hell does Sara keep worming her way into Ava’s thoughts and heart?

She is debating going back to sleep to try and forget about everything when there are footsteps approaching her tent. Ava quickly pulls the tunic down to cover her chest, a small part of her hoping it is Sara returning.

She has no such luck when Gary makes his way into the tent, looking around himself in confusion for a second before spotting Ava on the ground.

“General, are you okay?” he asks, rushing towards her.

No, she is not, even though she should be. If Ava has any hope of making it through the next weeks unscathed, she has to stop letting Sara so close. She closes her eyes with a sigh, knowing by now that that opportunity has long since passed.

“I’m fine, why are you here?”

“I have the list you asked for.” Gary produces a slip of paper from his pocket, putting it down on the small table Ava keeps in her tent.

“Thank you,” she says, bracing herself for being awake a few hours more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to @Starling83 for continuing to be my amazing beta <3

Ava throws up her fist, blocking the incoming blow from her current sparring partner — Charlie. Charlie’s fist is hard as it connects with Ava’s hand, but at least her hand fares better than her face would. Why they’re even fighting hand to hand is beyond Ava, she much prefers a sword in her hand and her armor actually on her body. But, today was Charlie’s turn to pick, and she wanted this.

Ava dodges another blow, rolling her whole body on the ground before jumping back to her feet. As she does, she gets a mournful look at where her armor and sword are placed on the dirt. She does not get much time to think about them as Charlie is quick to try to hit her again.

At least mourning her current state is better than thinking about  _ whatever _ had happened last night.

Caught up in her thoughts, Ava fails to notice the next punch until it is too late to block and Charlie’s fist connects with her left side. Ava lets out a curse, her hand immediately moving to the stricken place. Couldn’t Charlie aim for somewhere without an injury?

“Alright,” Charlie sighs, taking on a casual stance, “what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing,” Ava says, straightening her back and lifting her hands back up, trying to look unaffected by the stinging in her side. She figures as long as her tunic does not turn red, she will be fine.

“The Ava I know doesn’t take a beating this easily. Now, if my general ain’t feeling too well, I got to know.” Charlie arcs an eyebrow and crosses her arms, waiting for Ava’s explanation instead of fighting her as Ava wants.

Ava keeps her hands up for a couple more seconds before lowering them with a defeated sigh. “I’m fine,” she insists, turning away from Charlie so she can check on her bandage. There is a red spot in the middle of it but Ava does not think it looks bad enough to warrant panic.

“Right, and I’m the Duchess of Ingsey.” Seconds go by as Ava ignores Charlie’s burning gaze.

“It’s not— It’s just,” Ava sighs, tracing her hand over the bare skin next to her wound, her other hand busy holding up her tunic. “I got injured yesterday. Sara helped me patch it up and I—” Ava lets go of her tunic, turning to look into her friend’s concerned eyes— “I tried to kiss her,” she finishes, voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh,” Charlie says, tilting her head as she looks at Ava.

“She pulled back and ran away.” Ava plops down next to her armor and reaches for her waterskin.

Realization dawns on Charlie’s face. Ava looks away from her, too embarrassed and regretful to meet her eyes.

“It’s just that I thought— She tried to, at least I think that’s what she was trying to do, kiss me. After she ran away with you. So I thought it was what she wanted and I know I shouldn’t but, God, I wanted it. Now she’ll probably never want to see me again.” Ava lets her back fall to the ground, willing for it to open up and swallow her whole.

“Maybe she got scared,” Charlie offers as she takes jilted steps towards Ava.

Ava snorts, the action completely involuntary. “Have you seen her get scared? If it wasn’t for that first day, I wouldn’t know she could get scared.” Ava thinks back to when she found her, so many weeks ago now. A frightened girl bleeding out in the middle of a burned down village. To look at her now, so full of fight and courage and kindness, Ava cannot fathom how it is the same girl.

“This ain’t the same as fighting out there,” Charlie says, nodding her head towards the outskirts of the camp. “I’d face down any number of them any day, but telling Z how I feel, what I wanted? Most terrifying thing in my life.”

Silence falls over them as they just sit there. Ava looks down at her side again, feeling the ghost of Sara’s hands working on her skin. Her thoughts wander to the scar she’ll get, which in turn leads to thoughts of her soulmate and the scar eventually showing up on their skin. She and Sara can never be, no matter how hard Ava’s heart pounds when she sees her. Even thinking about what they could be is useless.

“Thank you,” Ava says in the end, sparing Charlie a glance before she pushes herself up on her feet.

“Anytime, General,” Charlie responds with a nod.

 

The rest of the day, Ava finds herself stuck in meetings. A couple of her captains have accomplished their missions and returned to camp. Which means Ava is being told about said missions in detail, changing the knowledge they have as they go along. The city of Gurwood has surrendered to the Empire, Captain Avery’s squadron unable to convince them to fight.

However, Captain Callum has had much more success and has been able to use their contact in Krora to help them expel the Empire forces that had taken a liking to it. Smaller camps have risen and fallen along the way, and Ava marks all of them on the map, working out the safest places for her people to be and key places for them to make a stand.

She keeps a special eye on how the border of their territories move around the village the Rebellion have claimed as their home. Looking at it from above, you would think it just a normal village, but if you were to take a closer look, you would find a cave system underneath the village filled with the most important people and resources of the Rebellion. Protecting it is their top priority — should it fall, the Rebellion will fall with it. Ava cannot allow that to happen.

 

She meets Sara after her meetings are done and the captains have been given new orders. Darkness has fallen on the camp save for the few torches keeping the paths alight. Ava expects no one when she exits the war tent but she catches movement in the shadows. Her hand moves to her sword but it relaxes once blonde hair and freckles step into the torchlight.

“Hey,” Sara says, offering Ava a small smile.

“Hey,” Ava responds dumbly, unable to take her eyes away from Sara’s face.

“How’s your wound?” Sara stretches her arm towards Ava’s left side but lets it fall back down before she can make contact, drawing her brows together at the action.

“It’s fine. Charlie made me go see Amaya about it earlier.” Ava bites her lip, her thoughts once more drawn to Sara’s hands patching her up.

“That’s good,” Sara says and Ava cannot help but think she sounds relieved. As she relaxes just a little, Ava notices all the tension Sara had been holding, as if she had been scared for what Ava’s answer would be.

Sara takes a step towards her and Ava has to stop herself from instinctively moving back. She reaches a hand out and ever so gently presses the tips of her fingers to where the bandage lies. Ava’s entire body freezes and the only thing she can think to do is to make sure she does not stop breathing.

“I was worried I hadn’t done a good job, I— I haven’t spent a lot of time patching up other people. And then when I didn’t see you the whole day I just—” Sara takes a deep breath before looking up into Ava’s eyes, soft fingers still moving against the fabric of Ava’s tunic. “I was worried.”

“I’m okay,” Ava says, feeling her shoulders relax. She lifts her hand to Sara’s face, brushing her hair behind her ear. When she is done, her fingers move of their own accord to Sara’s cheek, softly tracing her freckles.

Sara nods slowly and closes her eyes, leaning her head against Ava’s hand. She flattens her hand against Ava’s side, just above her wound, and then they just stand like that for a while. Ava cannot remember the last time she felt so calm, so serene. Being near Sara has been a neverending cycle of beating hearts and different feelings rushing through her but now, half in the torchlight and half in the darkness of the night, and with Sara so close, Ava feels completely at ease.

Ava does not know how long they stand like that, only moving apart when they hear someone approaching. They exchange an awkward goodnight and Ava’s heart hurts as she watches Sara move away from her. She wants nothing more than to spend the rest of the night with her but knows she cannot, knows she has to go own her tent. And so that is what she does, following her head as any good general should.

 

***

 

A couple weeks go by with relative calm in the Rebellion camp. Ever since the night Ava tried to kiss Sara, there has been an awkwardness to their interactions. They either cannot say more than two sentences to each other before they run out of things to say — not that that had been an issue before, they had simply enjoyed the silence together when there had been no words to speak — or Ava finds herself lost in Sara; in her eyes; her lips; her freckles; her golden hair glowing in the sun. Those are the times Ava bolts, not wanting to do anything more that could possibly send Sara running off. Sometimes, one of her scars will burn and Ava thinks how everything she is feeling should be reserved for a soulmate, and she cannot help but feel she is being unfaithful to a person she has never even met.

The two weeks pass and someone unexpected shows up at camp with intel that sounds too good to be true. After Ava had gone to help Captain Reese and her small camp, the latter had fine-combed every fiber of the Empire camp and turned some of the prisoners to their side. In the end, they had found something Captain Reese did not dare rely on a courier to relay: the location of an Empire camp with one of Damien Darhk’s most trusted men, Malcolm Merlyn. Ava thinks it all hard to believe.

A chance to attack Merlyn’s camp, to possibly capture him and question him about Darhk’s plans, his troops, secret ways into the castle… Plans start to flash in front of Ava’s eyes as Captain Reese explains everything, laying her evidence down on the table between them. She finishes off by getting one of her soldiers to confirm everything, a young girl who had gone from being with the Empire to be with them.

As Ava looks at the girl’s face, she remembers her from the battle. Ava had almost killed her, would have if the girl had not called out her surrender. She does not regret it; she has no room to regret or doubt her decisions and in any battle she must be willing to kill any of the enemy soldiers if she and her people are to have any chance of winning and surviving. But she is happy to see that the girl is alive and trying to atone for the sins of her past life.

“I’ll put together a squad, we’ll have to leave at first light if we hope to catch Merlyn before he moves camps,” Ava says, looking directly at Captain Reese. “Would you be willing to come with? After all, it is you and your team who found all of this.”

“Of course. It would be an honor to battle beside you again.” Captain Reese places her fist above her heart and bows her head, followed by the few of her soldiers who had followed them into the tent.

“Thank you,” Ava breathes, relieved at having them with her. From the one battle they had, she could see that Captain Reese was not only an excellent captain but a great fighter to boot.

 

***

 

They take almost the entire camp with them on the journey to Merlyn’s camp. What little soldiers are left behind are set to work dismantling the camp — no matter the outcome of the coming attack, there is no way they can stay where they have been and not have the bulk of Darhk’s forces raze the camp. Merlyn is too high of a target for that.

Their plan is simple — the first wave of attack will be their archers, and as the guards start to drop, one of the infiltrators will open the main gate. Ava will charge the camp from said gate with her forces and Captain Reese will do the same from the other side. While they serve as a distraction, Charlie’s squad will quietly enter the camp and look for Merlyn or anything else that might give them an edge.

Ava thinks it’s a good plan. Despite Merlyn’s reputation, she has faith in her troops and believes they can win. The part she’s not so happy with, however, is the part where Sara had once more requested to go with Charlie’s squad and Charlie had accepted before Ava could protest. According to what Charlie said the first time she took Sara on a mission, Sara is excellent at it. But that does nothing to settle the unease in Ava’s stomach at not knowing where Sara will be or what might happen to her.

But she cannot let that distract her. The soldiers she is going to lead in the assault are counting on her to do so to the best of her abilities, something she cannot do if her thoughts are occupied by golden hair and a smile that is even more blinding.

Ava shakes her head and looks at the spot Charlie and Sara had disappeared through a little while ago. Dusk has settled and the time for their attack grows ever nearer, and so everyone has to get in position. Captain Reese and her forces left before Charlie, to find their position on the opposite side of the camp.

The camp itself is daunting. Ava can barely see it from where they are hidden, but it has to be at least twice the size of her own camp. From what she can see of the guards, their numbers should still be quite even, but the size of it still takes her by surprise. But she cannot let that affect her.

She turns around and gives Zari a nod before leading her forces away. She is leaving Zari in charge of their archers, a responsibility she knows she can handle. When Zari first joined them, Ava never thought the girl would command anything, but she has always had a particular hatred for the Empire after they killed her brother and parents, which in her time with them has grown considerably.

However, tonight will be a test of all their skills. If they cannot handle Merlyn, they will never be able to defeat Darhk.

Ava holds her head high as she leads her squad through the foliage. They are all on foot so as to not make too much noise before the assault begins. Hopefully they have managed to be quiet enough not to alert anyone in the camp.

Once they are in position, Ava signals for Zari to give the order to her archers. Now all they have to do is wait for the guards they can see to go down, then breach the gate, which in turn will signal Captain Reese and her squad to do the same. It sounds simple enough in her head, but experience has taught her it will be anything but.

The time for thinking comes to an end as the first Empire soldier falls limp from their perch. Ava gives the call to charge and makes a beeline for the gate, having every belief that their infiltrator will have it open for them. It is still closed when it comes properly into view, but Ava keeps going anyway, and so do the soldiers following her. When the gate is only a few feet away, it finally opens, allowing them to spill through.

The infiltrator has already disappeared by the time they make it through. Ava cannot stop her heart from dropping — part of her had hoped it would be Sara and that she would stay with them after.

She forces the thoughts out of her mind and focuses instead on the battle ahead. She locates the first enemy soldier she can find and brings her sword down on them. More soldiers are pouring out of simple wooden buildings, only looking half-aware of their surroundings. At least they had managed to take them by surprise, then.

 

As the fight goes on, Ava tries to look around as much as possible to spot any sign of their more silent unit. Of course she finds nothing, they would not be doing their jobs if she did, but that does nothing to help ease her worry. Still, they are soldiers of the Rebellion and Ava has every belief that they will succeed in their mission.

Much like she has to do, if they are to have any chance of taking the camp.

 

In the midst of the battle, a crossbow bolt whizzes past Ava’s head and she is quick to turn in the direction it came from. She spots the back of an Empire soldier and bolts after her, gripping her sword tightly. The soldier runs around a corner. When Ava does the same, she finds the crossbow thrown onto the dirt and the soldier facing her, all the paths blocked apart from the one they both arrived from.

The soldier draws and points her sword at her, but Ava can see the way it trembles in her hand. She cannot get a good look at her underneath her helmet, but her green eyes are young and fearful as she takes in the General of the Rebellion.

“We don’t have to do this,” Ava says while taking half a step back, all the while knowing it’s of no use.

“You’re either a soldier or you’re dead,” the girl whispers before charging, trying her best to swing the shaking sword at Ava. It does not take much for Ava to dodge the sword, then take a full step forward to take her right into the girl’s space and grab onto her hand. The girl’s grip on the hilt of her sword loosens as soon as Ava touches it and Ava throws the sword to the side. Ava then twists her hand behind her back and pushes her up against a nearby wall, knowing full well that anything or anyone could be a trap.

“Stay here until the fighting is done,” Ava orders in her ear and the girl nods vigorously against the wood of the wall in reply.

Ava’s steps are hesitant as she steps back and properly grips her own sword again. The girl doesn’t move a muscle as she is freed, she even keeps her arm in the exact position Ava had placed it.  _ At least she will live,  _ Ava thinks, feeling a hint of guilt at the way the girl still shakes. She does not take her eyes off her until she has rounded the corner and reenters the fight.

 

The battle is without a doubt the hardest Ava has ever fought, and for a while she fears they will lose. However, there comes a moment when she raises her sword, ready to strike, and there is no one left to strike at. All across the camp-turned-battlefield lie dead or injured soldiers, some wearing the same colors as Ava but most wearing the Empire's color. The only soldiers left standing are hers, and for a second Ava closes her eyes and just breathes.  _ They did it. _ They actually defeated Malcolm Merlyn’s camp, the most brutal of Darhk’s followers.

Still, as Ava opens her eyes again, her face falls. They have subdued Merlyn’s camp and yet there is no sign of him on the battlefield.  _ Coward _ , she thinks, turning her face in disdain. A good leader fights with their soldiers, they do not use them as a human shield.

“Search the camp for any sign of Merlyn!” she orders. She cannot allow him to slip away when they are so close.

She sheathes her sword as she watches her soldiers scatter. Her whole body tenses when she has only managed to get her sword halfway into its sheath. She swiftly turns around and pulls out her sword again, ready to strike at whoever she felt behind her.

“Relax, General!” Charlie says but stays completely calm as Ava stops herself mid-motion. “It’s only little ol’ me.”

“I thought we’d talked about sneaking up on people before,” Ava sighs, finally sliding her sword into its resting place.

“Did we?” Charlie asks, feigning ignorance.

“Have you found anything of use in the camp?” Ava can’t stop herself from being hopeful despite knowing Charlie would have brought it to her at once.

“No, but my people are still searching. If this bloke’s hiding anythin’ from us, they’ll find it.” Charlie gives Ava a slight nod, her features changing to be serious as she answers the question.

“What about Sara? Have you seen her?”

“Not for a while, we parted ways at the northern side of camp.” Charlie tilts her head in said direction and Ava is off without so much as a thank you. She feels bad for it, but it is too late to turn back now. Her legs won’t allow her to go somewhere she knows Sara won’t be.

An image of Sara’s attacker a couple of weeks ago flashes in her head, followed by one of the injured girl in the burnt down village Sara had been so long ago now. Ava refuses to let her mind show her what Sara might look like when Ava does find her, refuses to acknowledge that she might be among the bodies scattered across the camp.

She searches two wooden buildings — both empty — before her foot catches on something in the dirt. She just barely manages to stop herself from falling. Once she has caught her breath, she crouches on the ground, inspecting the thing her foot had impacted. It looks like a half-circle made out of rusty metal. Upon further inspection, Ava concludes that is exactly what it is. 

She reaches for it, feeling the heavy metal covered with dirt in her hand. She pulls on it experimentally and, with a little strength, old wood with the same color and texture of the dirt it lies amongst follows the metal, revealing a ladder leading down. She hears a quick “Shit!” coming from the bottom. 

Ava quickly climbs down the ladder with her sword in one hand and skipping most of the steps. When she reaches the ground, there is the wooden end of a staff pushed against her throat. The staff drops to the ground as familiar blue eyes relax and a stunning smile adorns the owner’s lips. Ava feels her own lips turn up in an involuntary smile as she takes Sara in.

The smile falls away when she turns her head only to find someone who can only be Malcolm Merlyn himself lying dead on the ground, a dagger buried in his chest.  _ He was their one chance at gaining an edge. _

“I had no choice, he was goi—  he would have killed me,” Sara says, noticing what Ava had seen. “But I found these!” she continues, her voice lighter, and walks back to the desk Ava assumes she had been rummaging when Ava found the hidden room. Ava follows, forcing her eyes away from Merlyn’s body. There is nothing that can be done to undo it now.

“Detailed mission reports, plans of Darhk’s defenses, his patrol routes… It’s all here. Ava, we can win this.” Sara turns around to show her the documents in her hands and all of a sudden it comes crashing down on Ava just how close she had moved to her. She forces her eyes to the documents and it only takes a couple of glances to confirm Sara’s words.

“Sara, this is amazing,” she breathes, a warm feeling spreading through her. As any rebellion, theirs was based on hope, hope that one day the tyrant known as Damien Darhk would be thrown off the throne. But the documents Sara hands her make that hope flare up even brighter than ever before.  _ They can win this. _

As she looks back at Sara, still standing oh so close, the warmth within her shifts, changing into another feeling altogether. Her smile turns softer and her heart feels like it is slowing down and speeding up all at the same time. She discards the documents on the desk as her eyes fall from Sara’s to her lips, then back up again. Sara’s tongue darts out to wet her own lips and then Ava’s eyes are back on them, following the movement closely.

She does not know who initiates it, whose arms are where first or whose lips are the first to move, but in the span of a second Ava’s arms are around Sara and Sara’s arms around her, pressing their bodies as close as possible. 

Sara’s lips taste sweeter than any fruit Ava has tasted. She finds herself lost in their softness, wishing only to somehow get closer, to taste  _ more _ . She grabs hold of the back of Sara’s thighs, intending to lift her onto the desk, and Sara is more than happy to oblige.

Sara grunts as she kicks up from the ground, parting her lips, and in the process, Ava’s tongue helplessly falls into her mouth. Not that Ava is complaining, every taste of Sara only leaves her hungering for more, and at this point, she never wants to let her go.

She lets her right hand slide from where it had been resting on Sara’s back to her side, searching out the hem of the black tunic she had insisted to wear. Ava had offered her leather armor dyed dark, but Sara had refused, saying she would be harder to detect in normal fabric.

Not that that is important now. Now, all that is important is that the light fabric easily allows for Ava to slip her hand underneath it, feeling the warm, soft skin there. Ava is not sure which of them moans at the contact — maybe both. But much like everything else about her, the feel of her skin leaves Ava craving even more.

And so, she slowly drags her hand upwards. She stops no more than an inch later when she meets a small bump in Sara’s flesh, something that experience has taught Ava is the start of a new scar. That fact should have Ava pulling back and running as far away from her as she could, but instead, the action sends a jolt through her. And Sara, too, judging by her reaction. But not in a good way, as Sara pushes her away and jumps off the desk as if she cannot get away from Ava quickly enough. 

The confused noise Ava makes is interrupted when she spots Merlyn’s dead body again. How could she be so lost in Sara that she hadn’t even given their surroundings a second thought before doing…  _ all that _ ?  When she turns back to Sara, the spot she had occupied is empty. Ava sighs and gathers up all the documents Sara had given her as she prepares herself to go back out. One day she will do something right when it comes to Sara.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to @Starling83 and @LadyXana for betaing this chapter <3
> 
> Hope y'all don't mind this extra long chapter, it got a little out of hand...

It takes them the better part of a week to get to the small village used as the main base for the Rebellion. Sara insists on traveling with Charlie’s squad, despite Ava’s suggestion she ride up ahead with her. Ava’s heart aches to see her, to hear the light lilt of her laugh, to be on the receiving end of her brilliant smile, to lose herself in those freckles…

However much she tries, she cannot wrap her head around what had happened down in Merlyn’s secret office. Sara had been as much a part of everything that transpired as Ava had been. And yet, she had once more ran out.

Ava lifts a gloved hand to her lips. The metal of her gauntlet is much less favorable than the softness of Sara’s lips.

“The General’s back!” someone shouts, breaking Ava out of her thoughts. She lowers her hand and keeps her head high as they ride into the unassuming town. On the surface, it looks just like any other village hit hard by the times. On a closer look, however, one might find the hidden entrances to the tunnels below it, a village in its own right.

Ava does not even know quite how far those tunnels stretch. She grew up in them, learned all the secret entrances and exits, but the tunnel system itself is so grand and winds around so many paths that keeping track both above and below the surface is impossible.

“General Ava,” she hears a familiar well-accented voice say. Ava cannot help a smile at her old teacher and current advisor.

“Captain Hunter,” she nods in greeting, pulling her horse to a stop right in front of him. It has been years since he commanded his own squad — Ava never quite learned the reason why he stopped, he was just suddenly there one day as her primary teacher. The title, however, had stuck.

“You must all be starving!” he says, gesturing to the troops pouring into the village with one hand, his other planted in the old coat he refuses to get rid of. Ava swears he has had it since before she was born.

“I could definitely go for a hot meal,” Zari says, coming to a stop next to them.

“I think food would do them well,” Ava agrees, casting a glance behind her.

“Right. Lieutenant Green, why don’t you go tell Gideon we have a full house tonight?” Captain Hunter says as he clasps his hands, looking straight at Gary.

Gary looks to Ava, who gives him a nod. Ava remembers when they first met, when Captain Hunter had still outranked her, and his word was always final, even when it came to Gary. He had always been Ava’s right-hand man, chosen for the task by Captain Hunter and the elders, but his orders were still from them, not from Ava. Now, he defers to her word, even with something as simple as delivering a message.

It is odd to think of, but also frightening. A reminder of the position she is in and how many people rely on her.

 

***

 

“General, can we talk?” Ava looks up from her empty plate of food to find Captain Hunter standing next to her table. 

It is a few days after they arrived at the village — Ava had sent word for all of her captains to take their squads back with them, but some were further away than others and so they have had to wait. The last of them are scheduled to arrive later in the day, and Ava is eager to convene and make plans.

However, she had not expected to be approached this early.

“Of course,” she says, gesturing to the empty seat opposite her own.

“Alone,” Captain Hunter says as he takes a cursory look around the mess hall.

Ava frowns but pushes herself away from the table and stands up.

 

Captain Hunter leads her through tunnels that should be familiar, but that Ava has spent so much time away from that she is having to think to try to work out where they are going. She knows it is not any of the official rooms — those are to the left of a fork way back where they made a right.

She is surprised when he opens a room that leads to someone’s personal quarters.

“History tells us that our small” —Rip chuckles at that word— “rebellion started the day our beloved rulers died.” Captain Hunter walks over to an old nightstand, so dusty Ava is not sure it has been cleaned once during her lifetime. “Those of us who were here when it started know better.

“The court knew well in advance what Darhk was up to. Most of the King and Queen’s advisors were certain he could be stopped by the realm’s defenses. The King and Queen knew better. We hadn’t had any wars for many, many years, and the armies, in turn, had not been in proper fighting shape. The most action they saw was sparring each other. Despite what our rulers tried to say, the Lords and Ladies of the court refused to put more funds towards the battle we all knew was coming.” Captain Hunter pauses and kneels down in front of the nightstand.

“The King and Queen were fond of traveling through their kingdom, making appearances in various towns, both big and small. They went on such a journey when everyone else was preparing for war. Some criticized the decision, others approved of it. You see, the Queen was with child, and the Council of the Royal Court thought showing off the future heir, in a sense, would spark hope in such a dark time.

“One of the villages on their final travel around the kingdom before their deaths was little old Salvation.” Ava’s eyes — which had been looking curiously around the room — flit to Captain Hunter at the name, recognition hitting her immediately. “The King and Queen had never visited, but I had spent some years in the village previously and was quite fond of it. And I happened to have discovered during my stay that it had quite the tunnel system running around underneath it, sitting unused and with almost none of the town’s inhabitants knowing about them.

“They spent longer visiting Salvation than any other town as they traveled. They had with them lots of gold and riches that they might give to towns in need or buy trinkets with from local shops. This journey saw most of it spent in one single town, despite the royal records saying otherwise. The money was given to Jonah Hex, so that he might oversee the… renovations of the tunnels.

“These were supposed to be the personal quarters of the King and Queen.” Captain hunter withdraws something — an old piece of parchment, Ava spots when he stands up and turns to face her — from the nightstand.

“But they never arrived,” Ava says, narrowing her eyes on the parchment.

“No. Darhk’s attack came sooner than expected. They had hoped to wait until after the birth to relocate since, as the time drew nearer, the Queen grew more and more tired as she was almost ready to welcome the new heir into the world.

“Somehow, only the Gods know how, Darhk’s attack happened at the very same day the child was set to be born. The King and Queen fled, but by the time they did, Darhk’s followers already had their scent. They took refuge in a small village half a day’s ride away from the castle. The child was born, as promised, but they knew they would not be able to escape.

“And so, King and Queen Sharpe of Starling gave their daughter to me, so that I might escape with the true heir to the throne. I was tasked with overseeing her training, to make sure that she grew into the ruler the kingdom would need once the war was over, and the general to lead the Rebellion to victory.” Captain Hunter’s gaze meets Ava’s just as his words truly hit her, making Ava stumble back in the room.

“No,” Ava says, certain she must have understood his words wrong.

“Everyone knows our beloved rulers died the day Damien Darhk took control of the kingdom. But only few know that their daughter, the trueborn heir — that  _ you _ survived.” Captain Hunter turns the parchment and lifts it up for Ava to see. Ava gasps as she takes it in. At first, it looks like any old painting of the true rulers of Starling. The couple is lovingly posed, looking at each other with adoration one only finds between true soulmates. But there is one detail that makes this painting differ from all the rest.

Everyone knows the canary symbol, the symbol of the Rebellion, comes from King and Queen Sharpe. The reason the Rebellion use it is the hope that someone just as worthy of the throne will sit on it once more. There is no painting of the King and Queen without the symbol there in some way — the metal of their crowns, an emblem on their clothing, a tapestry in the background… But none of those is what Ava sees.

Her hand comes up to her collarbone, feeling the necklace that hangs there through the fabric of her tunic. The very same necklace hanging from the neck of the Queen. To boot, Ava also spots a noticeable bump on the Queen’s stomach. 

Captain Hunter notices the action and his eyes light up. “The necklace was very dear to your mother’s heart. She always wore it, but usually it was resting directly against her chest, underneath her clothing. For this portrait, however, the first portrait they posed for as the leaders of the Rebellion, she wanted it to be seen.”

A million questions run through Ava’s mind, but one is far more important than all the others. Ava steels herself, collecting her hands behind her back as she straightens herself out, looking at Captain Hunter with an indecipherable face.

“Why didn’t you tell me before now?” Growing up, she had trusted Captain Hunter more than any other. He was not the only one involved in raising her, of course. Before ever dreaming of her own squad, she grew up here, down in the tunnels, with the whole village to raise her. But Captain Hunter was the one she felt she could confide in, the one she looked up to the most. And for all of her life until now, he has been keeping a secret so big Ava could never have thought it to exist.

“The information was need to know—”

“You don’t think  _ I _ needed to know? It’s  _ my _ life—” Ava stops herself and takes a breath, reeling in her small outburst.

“The more people who knew, the higher the chance of Darhk knowing. You are dangerous enough as the leader of the Rebellion, but the one true heir to the throne of Starling? He would have stopped at nothing to have your head or have your loyalty, whichever he could get the easiest! And if he had known when you were just a child that a Sharpe had survived… I did the only thing I could to protect you!” Captain Hunter takes a step towards her but Ava takes one behind her, moving closer to the door.

A million things to say, or yell, or scream at him run through her mind, but none of them make it out. Instead, she runs for the door and does not stop when she is on the other side. She continues to run through halls she has nearly forgotten.

 

As a child, she was confined to the inside of these tunnels, these rooms dug out from the earth. She was allowed outside sometimes, but only with the Rebellion’s best soldiers at her side. The village above had children running around — some her age, some younger, some older, but all of them always looking like they had so much fun.

Ava was kept away from them.

She was told it was for her own good, that mingling with the villagers was too dangerous for her, but that had done nothing to quell her want of everything they had. Everything she knew she could never have.

She supposes she should have known something was different about her when she ended up being trained by the Rebellion instead of with the village children. But she had only ever known the one life and never had a reason to question it.

Despite being quite the rule follower, Ava sometimes broke them. Well, not plural, only one specific rule. When she was told she was not allowed to explore the world above the tunnels, she explored the tunnels instead. Nearly every path in and out had guards posted by them, but Ava had found one hidden deep within through halls no one ever visited. 

It was blocked by a round piece of wood that wore the same color as the dirt it was hidden amongst. Ava would not even have known it was there, the first time, if not for resting her body against it to catch her breath and feeling it give way. Behind it had been a curtain of green foliage, practically begging Ava to push it aside and step through.

She had known that technically she was not supposed to leave, but did that really count when there was no one there to tell her no?  _ Yes, it did, _ but she had been curious about what lay beyond and tired of feeling like she was suffocating under the earth. And so, she had pushed through to find a small area of the forest hidden out of view. There was a river that Ava used to listen to for hours, fascinated by the running water. 

The scene had mesmerized her. She used to go there when she knew she could get away with it, that everyone else would either be too busy to check up on her or just simply presume she was playing safely in the tunnels. Even though it was only a small piece of what the outside world was, it had kept Ava sane through all the years before she was allowed to go out on her own.

Even after she was deemed old enough and skilled enough to walk on the surface, she had visited that same place. She had read of gardens in her books, and despite the gardens she saw on the pictures looking nothing like this, she had come to think of it as her own little garden.

 

Ava stops, out of breath and with her hands on her knees. She probably lost Captain Hunter long ago, if he had even bothered trying to run after her at all, but that had not stopped her from continuing. She had not even known what she was running towards, just knew that she had to get away from him and that room and everything else down there.

It is with a start she realizes where her legs have carried her. As she looks up, she spots an old wooden circle that blends in with the dirt around it. Only, it has been shoved aside, showing the green vines covering it from the outside.

Curiously, Ava brushes the vines and leaves with her arm and steps through the small hole, finding herself in the fresh greenery of her garden. She draws in a deep breath and closes her eyes, smelling the familiar smells of her small piece of nature. She smiles when she hears the sound of running water — the river she had grown so fond of as a child. Her brow creases when her ears hone in on splashing not caused by the streams, and she remembers the already open path.

Ava is not sure what to feel when she walks over the small hill that leads her to the river and finds someone lying down next to it.  _ Sara _ . Sara’s eyes are closed as her freckles soak in the sun and one of her hands is lightly touching the water.

“Hey,” Sara says after a beat, her eyes still closed.

Ava’s first instinct is to turn around and leave her be — she was here first, and Sara’s made it quite clear time and time again that she regrets it every time they spend time together. But this is  _ her _ garden — her safe space — and she will not let anyone take it from her. Not even Sara.

“Hey,” she says, sighing as she sits down next to the river a few feet away from Sara.

They do not say anything else for a while. Sara stays in the same position from before, not even giving Ava a glance. Ava leans over the only small, nearly still, part of the water she can find in the river and looks at her blurry reflection.  _ The heir to the kingdom. _ Surely it could not be true. Maybe Captain Hunter had ran away with the wrong child?

Ava shakes her head and puts her hands in the water, forming a cup with them as she watches her reflection get even more distorted. She splashes her face with the water she collects, letting the cold liquid run down her throat and cool her off. There is one place the water does not touch her, however, one spot that is covered by something else.

Ava bites her lip as she pulls her necklace out from underneath her tunic, feeling the light metal in the palm of her hand. It does not feel as light as it used to. 

She closes her eyes and an image of the necklace around someone else’s neck — someone whose face looked strikingly like her own, now that she thinks about it — is summoned by her mind.

She groans, letting go of the canary symbol as she falls and her back makes contact with the soft ground.

“Are you okay?” Ava curses. She had forgotten Sara is still there.

“I’m fine,” she grinds out. She expects Sara to be the last person who would want to hear about her troubles.

There is shuffling to her side and Ava assumes Sara is going back inside.  _ Finally she will be alone. _

Only, instead of the sound of Sara’s soft footsteps on the ground, a shadow falls over Ava’s face, blocking out the sun. She opens one of her eyes and is met with Sara staring down at her, an indecipherable look on her face.

“What?” Ava sneers, narrowing her eyes on her.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sara pushes, wrinkling her brow as she bites her lip.

Ava remains silent, not sure what Sara wants to hear or what Ava should tell her. 

When she does not get a response, Sara lets out an exaggerated sigh and plomps down on the ground right next to Ava. 

Ava almost tells her to go away, feeling nothing but annoyance as she thinks of how  _ indecisive _ Sara is when it comes to her. She has been spending the past week and more avoiding her — ever since their kiss that Ava is  _ sure _ she was not the only active participant of. And yet now, when Ava  _ wants _ to be alone, Sara refuses to leave.

But something keeps her from it. Something that she feels deep inside her that forbids her to lash out on Sara. Because after everything, she still wants Sara close, still wants to pull her in and never let her go.

But Ava knows a bird cannot be caged. Maybe Sara should be wearing the canary symbol instead — Ava does not think she has ever laid eyes on a freer spirit.

Ava holds back a sigh and shuts her eyes.

“That’s a pretty necklace you got there,” Sara says, and there’s a brief shadow back on Ava’s face again. Whatever caused it, however, is gone by the time Ava opens her eyes.

Ava frowns, bringing a hand up to touch it again. She never wears it on the outside of her clothes, it is always hidden against the skin of her collarbone. She does not like the thought that, according to Captain Hunter, the Queen had done the same.

Ava wraps her hand around it and braces herself to pull. But the pull never comes. She releases her hold on it as she feels wetness running down the side of her face. She has never not worn her necklace for as long as she can remember, and she cannot bring herself to rip it off now.

A warm hand makes contact with her shoulder, and Ava almost tears away.  _ Almost. _ But she cannot bring herself to move away from Sara’s touch.

“It was my mother’s,” she whispers. She always knew it belonged to her mother, that it was the one piece of her that Ava got to keep after she died. But she had always been told her mother was one of the Rebellion’s bravest soldiers, and so that is what she had thought. Until today. And yet, she finds it hard to pull up the image of the woman in the painting when thinking of the woman who should have raised her.

“What was she like?” Sara’s warmth leaves Ava as she resettles, lying down on her side so she is facing Ava. The warmth returns, but this time in the form of gentle fingers against her face.

Ava turns her head so she can properly look at Sara. Her blue eyes shine as she looks at her, waiting for Ava to answer her question.

“They tell me she was brave and wise, the best soldier they could find.” Ava swallows hard as the words spoken to her as a child run through her mind.

“Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Sara’s fingers flatten against Ava’s cheek until her palm is lying flush against it.

Ava does not mean to say it. She does not even know what she meant to say when she opened her mouth. She just knows that instead of those words, as she looks into Sara’s soft, genuine features, what falls out is, “And apparently she was a queen.”

Sara’s hand freezes against Ava’s skin and a gasp escapes those perfect lips. Ava cannot blame the reaction, especially not after how she herself had taken it.

“I wasn’t told until today.” Ava draws a shaky breath as heat gathers in her eyes and the image of Sara in front of her grows slightly blurry.

“Wanna talk about it?” Sara asks, her hand growing softer again as her thumb moves gently against Ava’s cheek. And by the  _ Gods _ does she.

Ava’s voice is barely above a whisper as she recants the tale Captain Hunter had told her. As she tells it, she feels detached from her own words and the truth they bring. Until he had shown her the picture, followed by  _ those _ words, Ava had listened carefully to the words of her mentor. To the words spoken about someone who had no connection to her other than starting the Rebellion she now leads.

As Ava reaches the point when the story turned to be about  _ her _ , everything comes washing over her again. Instead of being detached from the story, she feels overwhelmed by the revelation.

Sara’s fingers tracing patterns onto her cheek ground her, allowing her to finish the story. After, Sara allows her to vent her frustrations. To raise her voice when she says how betrayed she had felt by Captain Hunter. Listens when her voice grows so quiet it is barely a whisper as she admits she does not feel fit to rule. She is not a queen, and she is certainly not fit to step into  _ Queen Sharpe _ ’s shoes.

 

Sara keeps her company until the sunlight fades, replaced by the light touch of the moon. They spend the last of their time in silence, still laying facing each other on the grass. As the moon rises behind Sara’s head, Ava does not know that she has ever looked more beautiful.

“We should probably get back inside before they send a search party,” Ava says, trying for a smile. Everyone they had called to the village should have arrived by now, but Ava assumes they have been given the night to rest before they start planning tomorrow. She knows she should rest too, but she is reluctant to leave her garden and Sara.

“I guess,” Sara exhales, drawing her hand away from Ava’s skin as she rolls onto her back.

Ava’s cheeks longs for the warmth of it back, touching her ever so softly. She shakes her head, trying to shake her longing for Sara along with it, but it remains as strong as ever.

Sara, already on her feet, offers Ava her hand to help her up. Ava draws far too much pleasure just from the simple touching of their palms.  _ What has she become? _

The walk back to their respective rooms is wordless. Gary finds Ava not long after she says goodnight to Sara. He informs her that everyone did indeed make it to the village safely and that they will meet to form a battle plan first thing in the morning. Ava only hopes she can manage to sleep during the few hours until dawn.

 

***

 

Ava chews the inside of her cheek as she looks over the table she has prepared. She had been laying restless in her bed for a few hours, sleep refusing to take her and Captain Hunter’s words repeating in her mind, when she had decided her time was better spent being productive. So she had gathered up all the documents they got form Merlyn and all the documents the Rebellion already had, and put them all on display on the grand table in the meeting room. 

Hours have been spent trying to make sense of them. Making sure the ones most related lie next to each other. It is not perfect, but Ava thinks she is finally happy with them.

When the door flies open and quick steps enter the room, Ava jumps. She had been so wrapped up in planning that she had not expected anyone to arrive, despite that being what she has been preparing for.

She looks up to find Sara quickly advancing on her. A short, “Sara,” is all she manages to get out before she enters her personal space. Ava tries to say something else, but she cannot get anything out before firm hands grab her head and pull it down, soft lips meeting her own.

Ava freezes. What else is she to do, during an ambush like this?

Sara starts to pull back, and suddenly Ava’s body moves into action. One of her hands come up to the nape of Sara’s neck as the other wraps around her back, pulling her closer. Sara relaxes into the touch, dropping her arms so they lay softly atop Ava’s shoulders.

Ava never wants the kiss to end.

She wants the door to disappear and the war to be no more so she can spend the rest of her life inside this room pressed up against Sara’s warm body.

But she knows it has to end.

Knows they have a war to plan.

Knows that she will have to take her chances, that she has to let Sara go and see if she flies away one last time.

Lightly pushing Sara away might be one of the hardest things Ava has ever done.

Sara lets out a sound of protest, but keeps her body close. Ava closes her eyes and savors the moment, almost certain it will not happen again.

“What?” Ava asks, still not having recovered from the suddenness of what just transpired.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Sara says, her features changing from soft to serious. “And I need you to listen closely and let me finish. Can you do that?” Sara’s brow furrows and her hand grabs onto the fabric resting between Ava’s shoulder blades.

“What’s wrong?” Ava asks. She moves the hand on Sara’s neck to her forehead, brushing away her hair.

“Nothing,” Sara breathes before creasing her brow. “Well, everything… But not anymore! I just, I need you to listen to me?”

Ava only nods, still waiting for Sara to pull back and run away from her.

“Remember how we met?” Ava nods.  _ How could she forget? _ “Good.” Sara pulls her lower lip between her teeth and casts her gaze down. “Ava, that day, I—”

“Hey, General!” a chipper voice comes from the door leading to the room, cutting Sara off and making the two jump apart. Sara is now two steps away from Ava, her back still to the door. Despite Ava being used to it by now, she still misses Sara’s warmth as cool air fills the now empty space.

“Captain Palmer,” Ava greets, offering Sara an apologetic look.

“Gary said that I could find you here. He’s making the rounds to gather up everyone for the meeting. I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?” Captain Palmer looks between Ava and Sara. He cannot see it from his position, but Sara’s jaw is set, and if looks could set things on fire, the meeting room wall would be turned to cinders.

“Everyone is on their way?” Ava asks, ignoring his last question for now. Captain Palmer simply nods in return, his ever-present grin painted on his face. “We’ll pick this up later?” Ava turns her head to look at Sara, her gaze soft and her voice low. Her hand reaches for her, but she thinks twice before it is close enough that Ava can touch her and she moves her arms behind her back instead.

“Yeah,” Sara responds, barely audible. She draws her mouth into a thin line, glancing at a spot behind Ava before fixing her gaze on the wall in front of her again.

“You must be Sara!” Captain Palmer says, either not picking up on Sara’s mood or choosing to ignore it. Ava never knows with him.

“That’s me, the new girl,” Sara says as she turns to face him and offers him a mock salute.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance.” Captain Palmer eagerly offers his hand. Sara eyes it apprehensively before slowly stretching her own hand out to meet it. “I’m Captain Raymond Palmer, but my friends just call me Ray.”

Sara simply gives him a curt smile and withdraws her hand, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Where are Captain Heywood and your newest charge? Both of them should attend the meeting.” Ava arches an eyebrow at her captain, putting on the mask of a general now that she is no longer alone with Sara.

“Nate is spending every second he can with Amaya and Nora is… nervous to meet you, ma’am.” Out of the corner of her eye, Ava notices Sara tensing at Captain Palmer’s words, but she quickly shakes her head and relaxes again. Captain Palmer rubs the back of his neck, looking every bit as nervous as Ava assumes Nora Darhk feels.

“She should be in the meeting.” Ava cannot say she trusts any spawn of Damien Darhk, but passing the opportunity to have someone who knows how he thinks during their planning would be pure stupidity.

“Of course. I think Gary’ll bring her with everyone else.” Captain Palmer nods, his features turning more serious than joyous.

As if on cue, the door swings open once more and Gary steps through it, followed by all of Ava’s captains and advisors. The meeting room is one of the biggest rooms down in the tunnels, but as everyone pours in, it looks no bigger than one of the bedrooms.

Ava glances at Sara, finding her eyes moving between the door and the walls of the room as she fidgets with the hem of her tunic. Ava offers her a reassuring smile and turns her body so she is half shielding her from everyone’s curious gaze. She supposes Sara had never planned to be in the meeting, but Ava wants her close. And, as the one who found Merlyn’s plans in the first place, she should be present.

Out of all the faces coming through the door, there is only one Ava does not recognize — the very last one to walk through the door. The dark-haired woman can only be one person — Nora Darhk. Ava fixes her with a curious and apprehensive stare. She could be here to do what she claims — help them defeat her father, or she could be here to put an end to the Rebellion before they can touch him. 

Captain Palmer moves to her side immediately, greeting her with a familiarity a Captain and his charge should not share, not unless… Captain Palmer lightly touches her shoulder and she leans into his side. Ava closes her eyes, just for a second. If what she suspects is true, she hopes for her friend’s sake that Ms. Darhk is serious about joining them. It would also explain why he so easily trusts her, although that could just be a consequence of who he is as a person.

“Good day,” Ava addresses everyone, taking a step closer to the table. It is then that all hell breaks loose.

Ava spots Ms. Darhk tensing out of the corner of one eye as she spots Sara tensing in the other.

“What is she doing here?” she hears Ms. Darhk whisper, her eyes wide as she stumbles back into Captain Palmer.

“That’s Sara,” Captain Palmer supplies happily.

“I know who she is!” Nora exclaims, taking a step forward. “ _ That _ is Sara of House Lance, my father’s favorite spy.”

Ava’s immediate reaction is to scoff. “You expect us to believe that?”

Every set of eyes in the room turns to Sara, but Ava’s stay locked on their newest addition.

“Ava, I—” Sara starts, getting cut off by Captain Palmer.

“Nora wouldn’t lie!” he says, taking a step in front of Ms. Darhk. “She’s my soulmate!” Captain Palmer’s eyes widen, as if he had not meant to disclose that last part, but his features are determined nonetheless.

“I’m telling the truth,” she insists as she reaches for Captain Palmer’s shoulder with her hand, pulling him back.

“Ava, don’t listen to her,” Sara pleads, her eyes frantic as she reaches for Ava’s hand. “Please, you know me,” she says, her voice shaking and her hand trembling where it meets Ava’s skin. 

Ava burns where Sara touches her, and for the first time, Ava wonders if the touch will leave her charred.  _ That’s ridiculous, _ she thinks. She  _ cannot _ allow someone like Nora Darhk to make her distrustful of the people close to her.

But, there is no denying the way Sara had tensed when spotting Ms. Darhk, before the latter had as much as said a word.  _ No! _ Ava closes her eyes, and her thoughts take her back to the day they had met.

Sara had been the only survivor they could find. There was ash covering her clothes and a wound on her leg, but no marks to truly indicate she had been in the village when they found her. Zari had told Ava of her worries after, but Ava had dismissed them. Had she been wrong?

_ Stop! _ Sara had proven time and time again that she fought for the Rebellion. Like when their camp was attacked and she and Ava fought side by side against the Empire soldiers. But why had that one soldier gone for Sara? The tent she had been sleeping in was nothing out of the ordinary and Sara had been no one of importance, and yet the soldier had searched her out.

_ But that does not mean anything. _

Then there were the ripped out pages from Sara’s book. Other than the drawings of Ava, that still leave an odd feeling in her stomach when she thinks of them, Sara had had detailed drawings of the camp, and she could have easily written on a few pages instead of drawing… But how would she even have sent them? All the birds went through one of the soldiers. Unless…

Ava had assumed that Sara going with Charlie was due to sitting around camp making her restless and maybe even a want to prove herself to the Rebellion. What if she had taken the opportunity to deliver a letter to the enemy instead?

And then there was the case of Malcolm Merlyn. Sara had been the only one to see him alive, and if she was a spy, he could have had the knowledge to out her. It would make sense that Sara would  _ want _ him dead, if she thought the possibility was there. Merlyn did not even have a weapon in his hands, now that she thinks about it, but she had been too caught up in Sara to take notice.

How did Sara even have the ability to kill him? Her father was a city guard. Who would a city guard’s family know who could train their daughter like that?

_ No _ , she is letting the enemy getting into her head. Sara has been there for her since the day they met, and if she wanted to kill Ava, she has had plenty of opportunities to try.

“You don’t have any proof,” Ava bites, looking back at Ms. Darhk.

“Before I left, father sent fake plans to Malcolm Merlyn. Ray said you defeated him and his camp. I’d bet my life that before you did, he gave the fake plans to  _ her _ .” Ms. Darhk points at Sara, her eyes filled with conviction.

Ava glances at the carefully laid out papers she had spent the better part of the night arranging.  _ What if she is about to risk everyone’s lives based on false plans? _

Ava takes an unknowing step backwards, ripping her hand away from Sara’s soft touch. “Is it true?” Sara’s eyes widen at her words and her mouth falls open, mimicking the shock Ava feels at asking the question.

“Ava, come on—”

“If someone were to search your room, what would they find?” Ava steels her gaze, trying not to show the way her heart is nearly beating out of her chest.

“Don’t you trust me?” Sara asks, taking a step closer to her. She reaches for Ava’s hand once more as her gaze jumps from Ava to the people surrounding them and back again. Ava pulls her hand back before Sara can touch it, afraid of what she might do if she feels that soft skin against her own again. She tries to ignore the hurt in Sara’s eyes, forcing herself to stand her ground.

Ava swallows, processing Sara’s words.  _ Therein lies the problem. _ Because she  _ does _ trust Sara. Every fiber of her being is telling her to trust her. Every part of her, save for the one that has told her there was something off about Sara ever since they met. The part she had ignored because Sara made it so easy, with her warm smile and trusting eyes. And that trust might cost her the people she cares about most in this world.

Ava’s gaze flits down to Sara’s lips, and she hates herself for wanting to feel those lips pressed against her own again.

“What would they find?” she presses. Even if she wanted to, she cannot back down now, not with every leader in the Rebellion watching the scene unfold.

Sara’s shoulders slump as her gaze falls to her feet and all the fight leaves her body. “I didn’t lie. The documents I gave you are real. But before he died” —Sara swallows and digs her nails into the palm of her hand— “he gave me a stack of forged papers. I was to give them to you so you would lead your troops into a massacre.” Sara lifts her head, and there is a newfound fire in her eyes. “But I couldn’t do that to you, Ava. I couldn’t do that to my—” Sara cuts herself off, but her gaze remains, those blue eyes looking into Ava’s soul.

Ava gasps. She is not aware of taking a step back until she stills, stabilizing herself once more. Part of her wants to reach out for Sara, to pull her close and never let go. 

Another part of her, the one that wins out, feels like a dagger has been thrust deep into her heart, twisting and turning in her chest. She supposes it is what would have happened, in the end.

Despite everything, her heart still yearns for Sara’s touch. But, as she feels the symbol of her necklace burn into her chest, the necklace of the  _ Queen _ , she knows she has a greater responsibility. A responsibility not only to her soldiers, but to her people.

She does not even know how much Sara knows, what kind of work she has been doing in the shadows. Her mind wanders to her garden.  _ Sara had been there. _ A place that, to Ava’s knowledge, only she knows about. And only through great exploration. So, Sara had, without a doubt, made herself familiar with the tunnels, the home of the heart of the Rebellion.

Ava cannot allow her to run off and report that information to Darhk.

Ava glances over her shoulder, her gaze finding two normal guards who had followed Gary into the room to keep watch. “Get her out of here,” she grinds out, casting her gaze back on Sara.

“Ava, please!” Sara cries, but she does not fight as the guards roughly grab hold of her arms.

Something shining on Sara’s cheeks in the candlelight catches Ava’s attention. She turns away when she realizes they are tears. She knows it is what must be done, but she cannot stomach seeing the guards drag her away. More than anything, she wants to tell them to stop. To run into Sara’s embrace and never leave it.

She blinks her eyes closed and sees Sara smiling sweetly at her. In Sara’s hands rests a dagger, painted red with blood. Ava looks down and finds her own chest bleeding. The image makes her eyes fly open.

Ava feels tears prick behind her eyelids, but she refuses to let them fall. Not here, in front of everyone. She tells herself Sara does not deserve her tears, but she knows that will not stop them when she is alone.

She hears the door slam shut to her right. She expects to hear the sound of Sara’s pleas — or possibly her guards’ screams, if Sara decides to try to fight back — but the hallway is silent save for two heavy pairs of footsteps and one pair that almost can not be heard. Sara is not even trying anymore, and somehow that just drives the dagger Ava feels in her heart deeper.

A nausea that has been brewing in the pit of her stomach rises higher. Ava is going to be sick. She looks up at the room. It is just as silent as the hallway outside, everyone seemingly holding their breath as they look at their general. Some faces are cold, some look pleased, but others — the majority — look upon Ava with poorly hidden pity.

Her eyes fall on Ray, sweet, considerate Ray. His eyes are torn between looking at her, at his soulmate, and the door. The pity and sadness she finds in his eyes are worse than all the rest combined. He really is too good for them, but Ava cannot stomach those eyes right now.

She cannot stomach anything in the room. Not the silence, not the stares, not the mere  _ presence _ of another body. She has to get out.

The tears grow closer to falling out every second, and Ava barely manages to force out a strangled, “Dismissed,” before darting out of the room, taking off at a running pace as she feels a warm wetness escape from her eyes. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @AvaHasAClosetMurderBoard for help with that last scene which was way out of my comfort zone <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @Starling83 and @LadyXana for betaing this chapter, and @AvaHasAClosetMurderBoard for giving me tips for some of the scenes <3

Ava stops running and falls to her knees, no longer able to keep it together. Tears fall freely as she digs her hands into the… dirt? Ava blinks her eyes open. Her vision is blurry from the tears, but that is definitely a mixture of grass and dirt underneath her hands. She lifts her head and finds the familiarity of her garden.  _ Her safe space. _ But even that has been tainted by memories of Sara.

How did she get here? She tries to think back, tries to focus on something that  _ isn’t _ Sara, but she finds everything that happened between now and leaving the room to be blank.

Not that it matters. She had ran away like a coward. What kind of leader runs away when her people need her most? Despite what Captain Hunter thinks, Ava was never meant to be a queen. Maybe she was not even meant to lead the Rebellion. She had, after all, welcomed the enemy as a friend. Hell, she had welcomed her as more, so much more.

Zari had asked her not to trust her, and Ava had ignored her. Sara made her feel warm and safe and like she did not need to search the realm for a possible soulmate. Like they could be happy right then and there.

And through it all, she had been lying to Ava’s face and reported to Damien Darhk behind her back.

Ava lets out a cry, pouring all her feelings and frustrations into it, yelling as loud as she can.

She drops to the ground and rolls onto her back. The warm sun from yesterday is gone, replaced by dark clouds covering the sky.

Ava closes her eyes, and her ears pick up on the running river. She thinks of Sara’s hand splashing in it. Thinks of how relaxed she looked, lying next to the water, the sunlight highlighting her freckles. Thinks of the way Ava poured her heart out to her, told Sara everything that Captain Hunter had told her.

She laughs, a cold laugh without any real feeling. Captain Hunter had decided not to tell her because he was afraid of the secret being known. And what had she done first thing after she was told? Confided it all in her enemy.

And still, as she lays on her side in the grass, Sara’s soft touch still ghosts her cheek.

Involuntarily, Ava’s mind wanders to where Sara is now. She has only ever seen the dungeon in the tunnels twice, as far as she can remember. There had never been much use for them — only the most trusted soldiers of the Rebellion were allowed access to the tunnels. None of them would ever betray the location or its people.

It has a bed. It is not the most comfortable bed, but it is favorable to the floor. It has a blanket and an old pillow. There is a candle outside the bars, where the guards keep watch, that lightly shines up the dungeon.

She wonders what Sara is doing. Had her fire returned after she left the room? Or is she still lifeless, the spark that Ava had seen in her since they first met all but forgotten?

_ Why does it even matter? _ She should mean nothing to Ava after what she did.

Ava draws a shaky breath, her body subconsciously searching for Sara’s warmth as the air around her grows colder.

Eventually, when she has cried all the tears her body has, exhaustion takes over and Ava drifts off to a restless sleep.

 

She should have known someone would come looking for her sooner rather than later. Not that she ever thought anyone would find her  _ here _ . 

Of course, Charlie would.

“So this is where you’ve been hidin’,” she says, coming to a stop right in front of Ava’s body, looking down at her.

“Charlie,” Ava sighs, but the name comes out all hoarse.

Charlie furrows her brow and offers her a hand. “Come on, then, get up,” she says when all Ava does is narrow her eyes at it. 

Ava spends a second more just staring at it, before relenting and letting Charlie pull her up. She glances up to see the sun trying to break through the cloud cover, well on its way down.

“Everyone’s wonderin’ where you’d gone,” Charlie says, smacking her hand down on Ava’s shoulder. “What is this place, anyway?”

Ava takes a look around herself, seeing her garden in the murky light. But it isn’t really hers anymore. Her safe space had gone the moment Sara ripped it away, along with her heart.

“Nowhere.” Ava’s voice feels more steady as cold steel settles around the emptiness of where her heart should be. “Let’s go back.”

Charlie tilts her head with a frown but follows her general diligently. 

 

Now, as they walk through the tunnels, it is time to stop thinking of what she has lost and start thinking of what she needs to do.

She is the General.

She is the  _ Queen. _

_ Normal _ relationships — platonic or otherwise — are not for her.

_ Love _ is not for her.

The only thing she has is the rules, and she, more than anyone, must obey them.

She will not let anyone come between her and her duty again.

“After you,” Charlie says, offering Ava a mock bow. Ava frowns. She had not realized how far they had gotten.

Staring at the door, Ava hesitates.

_ The time for running away is over _ . And yet, Ava cannot quite get herself to reach for the handle.

Despite her determination, she cannot keep those memories from rushing back.

Cannot help but think of Sara smiling at her, or holding her close, or… kissing her.

Or betraying her.

All of it within the confines of the room in front of her.

“You okay there, General?” Charlie asks, looking at Ava as if she is going to break.

Ava cannot stand the look, too similar to how everyone had stared at her earlier. As if she is something to take extra care with. As if she cannot deal with a simple spy in their midst. As if she is a fragile child as opposed to their General.

More than anything, Ava hates that it is her own fault their eyes had all been filled with pity.

But she will not make that mistake again. She has learned her lesson to not let her feelings get the better of her. She  _ will _ be the leader this Rebellion needs.

“I’m fine.” Ava holds her head high and reaches for the door, easily pushing it open.

Inside the room, she finds Captain Hunter, Lieutenant Green, Ranger Tomaz, Captain Palmer, Captain Heywood, Amaya, and  _ Nora Darhk _ . Her jaw sets the moment she lays eyes on  _ her _ . 

She is surprised to see them still there, with how long she has been gone. But, she supposes, if anyone was going to wait for her return, it would be them.

As she enters, there is a mixed chorus of “General” and “Ava” thrown at her. Captains Palmer and Heywood, and Gary look like they want to run over and give her a hug. Ava is nearly sick again at the notion. The last thing she needs is anyone in her physical space. But this is  _ not _ about her needs, but those of her people. And they need their general.

She nods at them all and steps up to the table. The room seems much bigger now that most of its occupants have left, but the table still looks as full as when Ava was last there. Her gaze lands on the castle plans, and rage flares up in her before she quells it, not letting anything show on her face.

“Have Sa— Ms. Lance’s quarters been searched?” Ava hates using the name Ms. Darhk called Sara by, but her first name, the name that Ava has known her by, feels too intimate for the current circumstances.

“No. We were all waiting for you, General,” Captain Hunter speaks up, looking at Ava with an indecipherable stare.

“Go search them,” she says, nodding at Charlie and Ranger Tomaz. “Look for anything that might give us an edge or says anything about what she might have given away.” The two give her a nod and then they are on their way.

Watching them leave, Ava frowns. Time almost seems to slow as her stomach protests, making her feel sick. The palm of her hand complains, and Ava glances down to find her nails digging into it. She forces her hand to relax, and, unwillingly, her thoughts drift to Charlie and Zari going through Sara’s stuff.

Despite everything, she cannot bear the thought of anyone else going through Sara’s possessions. Cannot bear the thought of them finding her book and rifling through the pages, or inspecting the place she has been sleeping. Cannot bear the thought of them standing where Sara has spent her most vulnerable hours the past few days.

“I have to go,” she says, rushing for the door. She hears someone protest — without a doubt, she knows it can only be Captain Hunter — but she does not care, cannot lend the subject a thought.

She just knows she has to stop her soldiers before they carry out their task.

The weight on her shoulders lifts ever so slightly when she spots them only halfway down the hallway outside the meeting room.

“Wait!” she calls, making the pair stop and turn to face her.

“What’s wrong?” they both ask.

“Nothing.” Ava clears her throat and catches up to them with her hands behind her back. “I think I should be the one to search it seeing as it was me who…”

“Are you sure?” Charlie asks, and the sincerity of her question is enough to make Ava’s mask fall for just a moment.

“We can search it,” Zari says, looking at her with the same worrying look that her soulmate matches.

“No. It has to be me.” It is only half of what Ava believes to be true, but it is the truth nonetheless.

“As long as you’re sure,” Charlie says, lightly hitting Zari’s arm as she nods back where they came from.

“You know where we are if you need us,” Zari says, already moving again.

“Wait,” Ava says, sighing as their attention is once more on her. Looking straight at Zari, she says, “Just get it over with.”

“Get what over with?” Zari asks, creasing her brow.

“Just say that you warned me about  _ her _ so we can be done with it.” Ava pulls a face, not eager to hear the words.

“She grew on all of us. Even me,” Zari says, letting out a deep breath. “But, I did tell you to be careful.”

Zari’s admission makes her feel lighter, just a little. The fact that Sara had fooled all of them, not just Ava. Even though Ava had trusted her the most. The familiarity of Zari’s remark also serves to ground her, ever so slightly. Ava has never been more grateful for her.

“Dismissed.” She offers them a nod, feeling the corner of her lip fight to turn upward. As she looks at the hallway ahead and remembers where she is going, however, any urge to smile falls away and the mask goes back on.

 

It takes her longer than she would like to find Sara’s quarters. Gideon had given her a detailed list of everyone’s rooms after they had been delegated out, and Ava had studied it carefully. If something were to happen, she needed to know where everyone was.

The personal quarters tunnels are by no means the tunnels Ava is the most familiar with. Of course, she had learned them as a child, as she had every other part of the tunnels. But she never had a reason to go deeper than her own quarters, and so they stayed at the back of her mind.

Sara’s quarters look what Ava imagines the standard to be. There is an unmade bed against the wall and a small night table against the bed. On the opposite wall is a simple closet with a wooden plank sticking out of it, supported by one wooden leg. Ava imagines it is for writing, a stand-in for a proper desk.

Save for the unmade bed, a backpack and satchel leaning against it, and a wooden stick standing in one of the corners, there is no sign that Sara has lived here for the past few days. When Ava opens the closet she finds it empty, and the night table has nothing above or below it. She does notice a spot on the makeshift desk that lacks the dust the rest of the plank has, about the size of Sara’s book. Ava wonders if she drew or wrote, and if whatever it was made it out of the village.

As she exhales, she walks over to the bed. She hesitantly sits down on it, half expecting Sara to jump out from underneath. She does not know if she fears the thought or wishes for it to come true.

Shaking her head, she reaches for the backpack. Whatever Sara might have held on to, she will find it in there. The satchel she leaves for after — she already knows what she will find in it.

Sara’s backpack contains two shifts of clothes, more knives than should be possible to carry, and, hidden at the bottom, a small stack of documents held together by thread wrapped around it.

Ava unwraps the thread and rifles through the different papers. It does not take long to find out they are the same papers Sara had given to her, only slightly different. They explain how on the way to the castle lies a ravine. The castle defense documents in the meeting room show an ambush waiting above it, ready to engage the Rebellion soldiers as they make their way to the battlefield. There are hidden paths leading to the tops that small squads could use to ambush their ambushers, and there is a different path altogether they could take instead. It is more perilous than the main road, but safer if an ambush lies in wait.

The documents currently in Ava’s hands, however, show the ravine to be clear. Instead of ambushing them in there, they would have squads waiting to ambush groups that might try to walk the hidden paths, and squads stationed along the less-traveled path, in case the Rebellion should choose that route. The ravine itself, however, would be safe.

_ Shit _ . Ava either has to risk the ravine, or risk the path around it.

Logic tells her the documents in her hands are right. Sara has lied to her ever since they met, so why would she not have lied about this as well?

But Ava cannot shake the desperation with which Sara had insisted the plans in her room were fake.

Hell, maybe that has been Darhk’s strategy all along, or at least plan B. Nora Darhk on her own would be dubious at best, and there was no guarantee that Sara would not screw up and give herself away. However, by swooping in and pointing out a traitor, Ms. Darhk’s trustworthiness would go up and the plans in Sara’s room would be taken as the real ones.

This is definitely going to give her a headache.

Ava carefully puts the documents down on the bed and looks at the small satchel, drawing a breath as she takes it in. She remembers it clearly hanging at Sara’s side, the small book inside poking out. Remembers the time they had sat and had their breakfast at the edge of camp, when Ava had gotten permission to go through the book and look at its many drawings.

She closes her eyes at the memory, opening them a few seconds later to pull the satchel into her lap.

Part of her hopes the book is not there. That Sara had found something else to keep in it instead.

With trembling fingers, she opens the buckle and pulls the cover away. Underneath it, laying proudly in between the leather, Sara’s book stares back at her.

She tentatively removes it from its resting place and gently traces the rim with her index finger. The satchel falls to the floor, but Ava cannot say she cares. The only thing she cares about at this moment is the tiny collection of pages in her hands.

One breath, two breaths, three breaths pass before Ava ever so gently pries the book open. On the very first page, she finds the very first drawing Sara had shown her. The memory of it is almost enough to make Ava close the book and drop it to the floor along with the satchel.

But she doesn’t. Instead, she takes a steadying breath and keeps turning the pages. She has to see what is in there and what might have been taken out after the last time she saw it.

She comes upon the first ripped out page, and gently traces the ragged edges of what is left. Her mind drifts to what it might have shown or said, but she shakes the thought away. She cannot know what was on pages she has never seen.

She continues to steadily make her way through the book. The amount of drawings of her is no less daunting the second time seeing them.

She pauses when she arrives at the picture of herself without a shirt. Seeing the detail of it — along with its existence at all — still takes her by surprise. She can see no reason for Sara having drawn it, unless Darhk was going around looking for matching soulmates.

But Sara had not sent the drawing. As far as Ava could tell, the drawing was only for Sara to see.

Maybe Sara drew them so well because she had seen them before. Ava draws her eyebrows together — what kind of people had Sara had in her life before meeting Ava? Whose bare backs had she laid eyes on enough that she might know their scars even when seen on someone else?

Ava does not realize her jaw is clenched until she lets out a breath and allows it to relax.  _ This is ridiculous. _ She cannot waste her energy worrying about who Sara may or may not have spent her time with before they met. It is much better spent worrying about the people relying on her to make a choice. The  _ right _ choice at that.

Ava forces herself to continue looking through the pages. There are more drawings of her that she skips over, nowhere near in the mood of lingering over them or the reasons why they were created.

There are some drawings from their journey, made late at night when most of them were sleeping. On one of them, Sara had managed to catch a rare moment of Zari and Charlie cuddling in their sleep next to the fire. In the drawing, they look more peaceful than Ava has ever seen them, like their only care in the world is the other.

She knows she has stared at it too long when she pictures herself and the one person she should not think about there instead.

Flipping through more pages, she finds her necklace. No part of Ava is shown, but the necklace is without a doubt the one hanging around her neck. It must have been drawn during the night. Ava envisions Sara by the makeshift desk, drawing instead of sleeping while Ava was preparing the meeting room.

She wonders if Sara meant to send it to Darhk to tell him of Ava’s newfound heritage.

The thought makes her nostrils flare and eyes harden. She grabs the edge of the page, ready to rip it out. However, much as she could not rip off her necklace the day before, she finds herself unable to rip out the drawing — to ruin Sara’s book.

And  _ Gods _ does she hate Sara for it. Sara has ruined everything, and Ava cannot even ruin just one of her drawings — not even a drawing that might very well have been meant for the enemy.

A drop of water falls onto the page, and it takes Ava a second to realize it comes from her eye.

She closes the book and violently throws it down next to her on the bed, not wanting to look at it anymore.

She is  _ done _ with giving her tears to Sara.

She is done with Sara in general.

She stands up, ready to leave the room behind, but, as she looks down in search of the documents, her eyes land on the small satchel on the floor.

Without Ava’s permission, her hands reach for the satchel, then for the book. With much more care than she thinks the drawing book deserves, she puts it back in its leathery container.

Before she can decide what to do with it, her hands continue working of their own will and fasten the satchel around her waist. The weight of it is unfamiliar, but more welcome than Ava wishes it was, which makes her jaw set.

Before she can give it any thought, she collects the documents and heads for the door, the book safely at her side.

She makes her way in the direction of the meeting room once more, hoping to somehow make sense of the mess of papers.

 

She is equally surprised the second time she opens the door to find the people she considers her friends still there. She had dismissed them the first time they left, and yet, for some reason, they are still there, waiting for her.

She clears her throat and holds the documents she had found high. “There was a second set of plans hidden in Miss Lance’s room.” She puts the papers down on the table, pulling up the ones she already had and matching them together.

“So the plans Sara gave us were fake?” Amaya asks, her voice tinged with sadness.

Ava’s brow creases. That is the logical answer, is it not? With everything they had discovered, it would not make sense for Sara to have given her the real plans, would it? 

“I… don’t know,” she says, staring at the table.

“Perhaps we should leave it here for today and get some rest. That way, we can  _ all _ process the information and look upon it with fresh minds in the morning,” Captain Hunter says as he steps towards Ava, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.

Ava is torn between allowing the touch and tearing away from it.

He may not have lied about his allegiances, but it has been barely a day since she discovered  _ his _ betrayal. She will not let it interfere with the Rebellion, but she does not know if  _ she _ , as just Ava, wants anything to do with him.

She comes to the conclusion she is too tired to fight, and allows the touch.

“Captain Hunter is right. I would dismiss you, but I believe I already did earlier,” Ava says, looking up from the table to set her gaze on every person left in the room.

There is a chorus of “Yes, General,” and then everyone pours out of the door. Everyone except for Captain Hunter, still at her side, and Gary, who looks like leaving is the last thing he wants to do.

“I need some room to think,” she says, perhaps stricter than he deserves, but she is not up to coddling him right now.

He nods, but Ava cannot help but think he looks like a kicked puppy when he leaves.

“May I have a word, General Sharpe?” Captain Hunter asks quietly. Ava has to stop herself from recoiling at the full title, nowhere near used to  _ that _ name.

“What?” she asks, wanting nothing more but for their conversation to end. But, as the general she can’t just simply end it. (And there is also a small hope that Captain Hunter will give her something to do that might take her mind off of everything else.)

“Something Ms. Darhk said caught my attention. Do you remember the books you used to read as you were growing up?” he asked. With the way he looks her, and the way his lips turn up slightly in a satisfied smile, Ava is certain that whatever he knows, he could just tell her outright. But of course he will not.

“Yes,” Ava responds, remembering quite well hours spent in the tunnels’ library. While the children of the village were reading tales of old, Ava was reading everything ever written about the Rebellion.

“Good. Go to Gideon and ask her if we have any books on the House of Lance.” Captain Hunter nods at her, then takes his leave.

Ava would protest about him not just telling her outright, but research is something she can do. Something that won’t simply leave her alone with her thoughts. And so, instead of arguing, she simply holds the request close like she did when she was a child and makes her way to look for Gideon.

 

“House of Lance…” Gideon says, tapping her cheek as she follows Ava to the library.

“Yes. Captain Hunter seemed quite certain that we have a book on it.” Ava looks at Gideon questioningly, hoping she will remember something that might help. If not, she might simply drag Captain Hunter to the library and have him point the book out.

“Yes, I think we might.” Gideon offers her a smile as she pushes open a wooden door, revealing the many books hidden behind it.

Ava closes her eyes, hoping that Gideon’s memory rings true. Which it usually does. Ava does not understand how she can store all the information she does, everything from which family a soldier comes from to which villager uses what kind of metal for their wares.

It is incredible, and quite helpful in situations like these. If Ava were to search every book for herself, she would be in here for weeks.

“Try one of these,” Gideon says, dumping three decently-sized books in Ava’s hands.

“Thank you,” Ava exhales, looking forward to having something to set her mind to. Even if it is finding out more about Sara’s family.

“My pleasure, General,” Gideon smiles, giving Ava a pat on the shoulder before making her way out of the room.

 

Ava brings the books to her room, eager to get started. She gently places them down on her desk, a proper one as opposed to what she had found in Sara’s room. She quickly starts scrolling through the pages, anxious to find something tangible to hold onto.

 

The first two books are a bust, and as she nears the end of the third, it is very much looking the same. She has gone through pages and pages of famous Rebellion heroes, people who have housed Rebellion soldiers, families who have outed their Rebellion acquaintances… Everything from the best friend to the worst enemy of the Rebellion, and still she has not read a single word on the House of Lance.

Maybe Captain Hunter had just sought to keep her busy without actually having a clue as to whom Sara truly is.

Ava sighs, ready to give up on her reading. Flipping to a new page, she decides to simply read the names and move on. At the top of the page, she reads of a Lord and Lady Queen, Duke and Duchess of Gambit. After them come Lady Smoak, then Lord West, followed by Lady Lance, followed yet again by Lord Ramon—  _ Wait. _

Ava goes over the page again, tracing underneath the words with her finger.

_ There it is _ . Lady  _ Lance _ .

She moves her eyes to the text underneath it, eagerly taking in all the new information.

_ “Lady Dinah of House Lance, Governesse of Star City. Married a city guard, Quentin, who took on the name of Lance. They had two daughters: Laurel and  _ Sara _ Lance.  _

_ “Lady Lance and her husband acted as Empire spies for the Rebellion. They pretended to support Damien Darhk, and fed information to contacts in the Rebellion.” _ So that is why Captain Hunter knew of them, Ava thinks. With his relationship with the late King and Queen, he would have seen most, if not every, letter.

_ “The House of Lance served the Rebellion well, until the day Darhk caught them. Deciding to make an example of them, he burned their city to the ground. All members of the house are presumed dead.” _ Ava’s heart feels like it is going to pound out of her chest.  _ All members presumed dead. _ But one had survived.

Instead of dying, Sara had been brought to the castle, to be raised as Darhk’s perfect weapon in some sick twist of fate. Ava wonders if she even knows her parents’ names.

A new rage flares up in her, alongside the sickening feeling of betrayal. No matter what Sara has done now, the child she was did not deserve that. And her family, so dear to the Rebellion, does not deserve to be a piece in Darhk’s game.

For a brief moment, Ava allows herself to imagine what Sara might be like, had her family been allowed to raise her.

Before she can dwell on it, she pushes the thought away as she closes the book. 

The book has given her all the information it can. Tomorrow, she will decide what to do with it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Than you to @Starling83 and @LadyXana for continuing to beta, and @AvaHasAClosetMurderBoard for giving the chapter a looksie <3

_ Ava looks at Sara, standing in the middle of the small opening in the forest. The sun is shining on her face, her golden hair glittering as it flows in the wind. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is cracked open in a joyous grin, laughter escaping from between her lips. _

_ Ava is helpless to do anything but smile at the ethereal image in front of her. _

_ Sara’s eyes slowly blink open, and she turns to face Ava fully, those blue eyes trained on her. As if beckoned by some higher being, Ava steps closer, the need to feel Sara against her suddenly overpowering her senses. _

_ Sara reaches for her the moment she is close enough. Her right hand moves to Ava’s waist, pulling her in by her tunic. Her left goes to Ava’s cheek, gently stroking it, before Sara leans up for a kiss. _

_ As their lips join, calm flows through Ava. She knows that she is safe, that there could be no moment more perfect than right now, with Sara in her safe space. _

_ She closes her eyes, basking in Sara’s warmth as their kiss deepens. They fly open when she feels a sharp pain in her stomach. Sara’s face is still serene, still so full of laughter, despite the cry of pain that Ava lets out. _

_ When she looks down between them, Ava is met with the sight of the hilt of Sara’s dagger in its owner’s hand, the blade hidden in Ava’s flesh and the hand bloody. In panic, Ava reaches for her, trying to hold herself steady. Her right hand brushes Sara’s left side, and her fingers touch a small bump there, familiar yet strange. That is the last thing she senses, before her eyes close and darkness takes her. _

 

Ava wakes with a gasp, her hand instinctively moving to her stomach. Relief washes through her when the only wetness she finds there is her own sweat.  _ It was only a dream _ . And yet, it felt so real. Sara’s laughter, along with the image of her bloody hand, still lingers in Ava’s mind. She shakes her head, willing the nightmare away, but it remains nonetheless.

She sits up in her bed, glancing in the direction of her desk. Her room is shrouded in darkness, but she can just make out the outline of the book she had been reading the previous evening. She gently eases herself out of bed, feeling the cold ground against her bare feet as she walks over to the desk.

Her hand reaches for the book, her fingers lightly tracing the cover. She spots the lantern next to it and instinctively reaches to light it. The light quickly fills the room, making Ava shield her eyes as they get used to it.

Blinking her eyes properly open, Ava looks back down. This time, her gaze finds Sara’s satchel, the edge of her book showing through an opening at the satchel’s side. Without any thought, Ava grabs the satchel and book in one hand, and the lantern in the other. Her legs carry her through familiar twists and turns until she finds herself in front of the dungeon. A single guard is on duty outside it, and she narrows her eyes as Ava approaches, forcing herself to stand straighter against the door.

“Stand down, soldier,” Ava says, her voice still hoarse with sleep and her mouth not yet awake enough to make the words feel right.

Even if the soldier had not recognized Ava at first, it is clear she recognizes her the moment Ava speaks. Ava is still in her sleep clothes, her hair messy, and the low light from the few lit torches in the hall and Ava’s lantern is barely enough to distinguish any features. Still, after Ava speaks, the guard relaxes her weapon and takes a step away from the door, offering Ava a salute as she lets Ava push past her into the room.

Up until Ava enters with her lantern, the room is pitch black. The lantern offers some amount of light, but it is difficult to see past the dungeon bars from her position. Ava cannot tell if Sara is sleeping or awake, lying down or standing up, or even if she is truly in there.

She gingerly takes a step forwards, holding her lantern up as a shield as light starts to lick inside the cell, past the bars. She holds her breath as she takes another step, bracing herself for what the light might reveal.

It takes her all the way to the bars, the lantern in her hand nearly touching them, before the cell is finally properly revealed to her. At first, she sees only a silhouette, sitting cross-legged on the floor. As her eyes properly adjust, she can distinguish Sara’s face, her eyes closed and her features without emotion. Ava cannot tell if she is sleeping in that position, or just simply ignoring everything else.

She should say something. Try to draw her attention.  _ Does she even want her attention? _ Ava’s brow creases and her anxieties well up in her stomach once more.  _ Why had she even come here? _ As her eyes continue to take Sara in, a plethora of feelings rushes through her. Some of them are good, reminding her of Sara’s warmth, of her uncanny ability to make Ava smile. But most of them simply remind Ava of Sara’s betrayal, who she really is.

Ava is not aware of her own increasing breath until Sara’s eyes fly open. Her brow creases and one of her hands twitch where it is laying on her knee, but Sara remains on the ground, simply watching her. Ava wants to look away from that gaze, but finds herself unable to draw her eyes away. Besides, she has always been taught not to show her enemies weakness.

She takes a steadying breath and steels herself for whatever is to come, forcing her features to turn indifferent.

“Miss Lance,” she says coldly as she gently lowers her lantern to the ground, her body soon following. There is a flash of something in Sara’s eyes, but it is gone as soon as it had appeared.

“How do you know that name?” Somehow, hearing Sara’s voice makes the situation that much harder to bear. She misses that voice speaking to her as a friend.

“What are you doing in my home?” Ava asks, ignoring Sara’s question. She settles properly onto the cold ground, mirroring Sara’s position as she faces her.

“You invited me,” Sara answers dryly.

“Who sent you here?” Ava tries, forcing herself to not give in to her annoyance.

For the first time since her eyes opened, Sara looks away. “Emperor Darhk,” she says, audibly swallowing after the name.

“For what purpose?”

Sara’s gaze is back on Ava as she responds in a leveled voice, “To get close to the leader of the Rebellion and lead her forces into a trap.” Sara’s gaze shifts again, and then her whole body tenses. “Is that my book?” she asks half-accusingly, her hand moving towards it, stopping at the bars.

When Ava looks down at the satchel still in her hand, a pang of guilt travels through her. She shakes the feeling away. She had no choice but to go through it.

“Yes,” she admits, her fingers quickly working to undo the satchel’s latch. “I asked you once about the torn out pages, and you said that the drawings weren’t good enough.” Ava pulls out the book and opens it, finding a torn out page and tracing the edge of the remaining paper. “But I’m willing to bet your unworthy drawings found their way to  _ him _ .” Something flashes across Sara’s face again, something hidden and vulnerable. Ava ignores it as she pushes on. “What was this?”

“A bird’s eye view of the camp, followed by guard patrols, how many soldiers were present, and whatever information I had about individuals in the camp. I sent it with the kid I let go when I went on my first mission for you. The Empire used the information to attack the camp one night, but it took longer than expected. I almost believed they never received it. I almost hoped the attack would never come.

“It wasn’t meant to finish off the camp. Emperor Darhk is smarter than that, he knew there were more soldiers elsewhere, more people to keep the Rebellion going. But he hoped to weaken your forces and show you the power of the Empire.” 

Ava’s hand instinctively reaches for her left side, brushing her tunic right over the scar the Empire had given her that day. The scar that  _ Sara _ had patched up.  _ Sara had caused it. _ Sure, she hadn’t cut Ava herself, but she is to blame for the soldiers showing up that night.

“Ava, you have to understand,” Sara says, grabbing the bars with her right hand, “the Empire  _ saved  _ me. When I was just a child,  _ Rebellion _ forces murdered everyone in my town because my parents sided with the Empire. Somehow, I survived. And when all was said and done, and my home was brutalized, Emperor Darhk rode into town and brought me home with him.”

“Is that what  _ he _ told you?” Ava spits out, her gaze moving between Sara’s hand and her face. Her features have finally got an expression to it, but the pleading in Sara’s eyes feels like a thousand daggers to Ava’s heart.

“It’s what I  _ saw _ . I don’t remember much from that day, or from before it, but I remember Emperor Darhk saving me, promising to help me avenge my village’s slaughter.” Sara’s fingers slip from the iron bars, and her hand, along with her gaze, falls to her lap. “But I threw it all away. I owe him  _ everything _ , and I threw away all of it because you—” Sara cuts herself off, and then her pleading eyes are back on Ava. “Do what you want with me, but don’t lead your soldiers into a slaughter.”

Ava swallows, trying to think of a response. In the end, she releases her hold on Sara’s drawings and picks up the book Gideon had given her. There is a bookmark where she had found Sara’s family. She pushes the book between the bars, and it is just barely small enough to fit through them. It lands next to Sara’s leg with an audible  _ thump _ .

“Darhk lied to you,” Ava says curtly. “Your family was working for the Rebellion. We didn’t kill your parents, Sara, the Empire did.” Before Sara gets the opportunity to answer, she pushes onto her legs and makes for the door, leaving behind everything she had brought with her. The guard looks at her curiously when she exits, but Ava only offers her a simple nod before she is on her way. She is not in the mood to be around other people at the moment.

 

***

 

A few hours after seeing Sara, when the whole underground town is in the process of waking up, Ava walks up to the planning room. Some part of her had hoped that talking to Sara would help clear things up, but she is still equally torn between trusting Sara and trusting logic.

“Bring me Nora Darhk,” she orders a guard. Maybe she will be able to shed some light on this whole situation, if she is not just here as her father’s puppet.

When Ava enters the room, she takes some time to just look at the documents still strewn across the table. None of that helps either. She only takes her eyes off them when the door opens and the guard enters, followed by Captain Palmer and Miss Darhk.

“You wanted to see us, General?” Captain Palmer asks, a grin on his face but poorly masked doubt in his eyes.

“I wanted to see Miss Darhk,” Ava says, narrowing her eyes at Captain Palmer. “You’re dismissed.”

“But—” he starts, only to be cut off by Miss Darhk.

“I’ll be fine, Ray,” she says, touching his arm gently. Ava has to look away, the soft action sparking longing in her own heart.

When it is only the two of them, Ava gestures to a chair by the table. “Please, sit.” Miss Darhk eyes it warily, but does as requested. Ava chooses to stay standing, her back straight and her arms behind it. “You grew up with Sara Lance, correct?” she continues.

Miss Darhk’s brow creases as she looks at Ava. “No. We both grew up in the kingdom’s castle, but Father made sure to keep us apart. I only saw her a handful of times. Father used to say that she was to be our weapon, and that I should worry about becoming a ruler. I was curious about her, but my father is not someone you want to cross, no matter who you are.”

Ava bites her lip. If Miss Darhk never knew Sara, then using her for information is off the table. Still, maybe she can tell her  _ something _ useful. “Are you aware of how she came to be with you?” she asks.

“No. He left on some important business one day, and when he came back, she was with him. I barely caught a flash of her before Father handed her to a maid. I tried to ask him about her but he kept avoiding the subject.”

“How did you know about the fake plans?”

“Ever since I was old enough to understand them, he’s been telling me about various plans, to forge me to be just like him. He wanted me to help him rule his empire and to defeat our enemies. Of course, he left out the part where he explained that not all parts of his beloved empire belong to him.

“About the same time Sara left on her mission, I started planning my own escape. Father gave me the plans, saying it was important I helped them get to their final destination. He had other business to attend to and trusted me to do what was required. I saw it as my opportunity. 

“He sent me off with a small squadron. I don’t know if he feared I might turn on him, but the soldiers made it impossible to escape, always keeping an eye on me and the plans. I could have fought them off, but I knew some of them. Despite everything my father’s built, everything those soldiers fight for, I couldn’t bring myself to harm someone I’ve known nearly all my life.

“When we finally reached the drop-off point, Ray’s squad was there.” Miss Darhk stops for a moment, her features going soft as she speaks Captain Palmer’s name. “He mistook me for a prisoner. Why else would someone unarmored be traveling with a squadron from the Empire? In the ensuing chaos, one of the soldiers ran away with the plans, but Ray defeated the rest of them. And that’s the last I saw of them.” She grows guarded as she finishes her story, but Ava has no plan to pry in their private affairs, as long as it does not hinder the Rebellion.

“So you saw the plans?” Ava asks, some semblance of hope growing in her chest.

“No,” Miss Darhk says, her gaze falling to the floor. And with that, Ava’s hope is squandered. “They were well protected, and I couldn’t have looked at them without breaking three different seals. The plans were never that important back then, I never imagined they would be this relevant, and all I could think of at that moment was escaping my old life.”

Ava sighs, casting her gaze over the table. She still does not know if Miss Darhk can be trusted, but it is obvious she won’t be any help in making a decision.

“Thank you for your time,” Ava says as she walks over to the door. “Aliena will see you back to Captain Palmer.”

Miss Darhk nods and gingerly stands back up. When she passes Ava, she pauses. “One thing I do know about her, is that she is better than anyone I’ve met at breaking out of places. I don’t know what, but the fact that she is still here has to mean something.” She offers Ava a short smile, then follows Aliena out of the room.

 

***

 

Many hours later, as Ava is on her way to Gideon to ask for a spare lantern after leaving hers in the dungeon, Aliena runs up to her.

“At ease,” Ava says, reaching a hand out for her. She waits patiently while Aliena catches her breath.

“The prisoner has requested to see you, ma’am,” she says after a few seconds.

Ava pauses. She has tried not to think of Sara all day to no avail. As hard as she tries not to, there seems to always be a part of her begging her to go see her. Begging her to forget about the last few days. The more Ava thinks about it, the more her body begs her to trust Sara.

“The lantern you requested, General,” Gideon says, seemingly appearing out of thin air.

“Thank you,” Ava says as she reaches for the metal handle. As she tries to process her thoughts, she fastens the unlit lantern to her trousers. Her fingers brush the scar at her side, and touching it feels both strange and familiar somehow. Before she realizes she has made a decision, she says, “Bring her to my quarters.”

Aliena frowns. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Dismissed.” Ava looks at her pointedly, not in the mood to argue over an order she does not quite understand herself. She looks up at Gideon, who is looking at her curiously. “Thank you for the lantern,” she says, and then she leaves the room. She will want to be back in her own room before Sara and Aliena get there.

 

The few minutes she spends waiting in her room feel like an eternity. An eternity in which she keeps jumping between doubting and accepting her decision. When there is a knock on her door, she takes on her usual position — her body straight with her hands behind her back. Accepting that it is too late to turn back, she calls out, “Come in.”

“Ava.” She hears the word, spoken as if it would break with too much force, before she sees Sara enter. Aliena is right behind her, looking between Sara and Ava with clear skepticism written on her face.

“It’s okay,” Ava tells her as she nods towards the door.

“I will be right outside if something happens, ma’am,” Aliena says, reaching for the door.

“That won’t be necessary.” Being alone inside a room with the enemy with no one else close by is far from a good idea, but Ava does not want anyone to listen in on them. Somehow it still feels too intimate, despite everything.

Aliena frowns, but salutes before leaving them alone.

“Are you sure the dungeon wouldn’t be a better place?” Sara asks, curious eyes flitting around the room.

“I’ve been informed you’re hard to keep locked up if you don’t want to be.” Ava crosses her arms as she finally looks Sara over. She spots her book satchel back around her waist, and the book with her family history tucked beneath her arm.

Sara responds with a shrug, and a familiar smirk falls on her pink lips. “But then why would I still let you keep me locked up, if I’m so bad?”

“I was going to ask you the same question.” 

Sara’s smirk falls as she takes a step closer to Ava. “Maybe I’m not as good at escaping things as Nora thinks.”

“Or maybe you didn’t want to escape.” Ava moves forward just a single step as she searches Sara’s eyes.

“And why would I want to stay hidden away in your dungeon, left to rot?” Sara challenges, taking yet another step towards her.

“Maybe Darhk told you to stay here at all costs. Maybe you and Miss Darhk are planning something. Maybe you think it will make us more likely to trust you. Or maybe you just have a fondness for dark cells.” Sara scoffs, relaxing her stance slightly. Ava continues. “Your mission. It involved getting close to me?” A nod. “You tried to kiss me, the first time we sparred.” Another nod. “Then I tried to kiss you, when you stitched up my wound.”

“Is this going anywhere?” Sara asks, and there is a war happening beneath those eyes.

“If you were supposed to get close to me, why run away?” Sara running away has agonized her from the moment it happened. Of course, back then she assumed it was because she had misread their relationship.

“Because I couldn’t…” Sara looks down at the ground, her eyes blinking rapidly.

“You couldn’t what?” When Sara remains silent, Ava continues. “You kissed me, after I told you who I am. You ran into that room and you acted like you never wanted to let me go. And the only thing that changed, was me telling you what Captain Hunter told me. So, what, you finally decided to finish the plan when you knew the truth about my blood claim?” Ava takes an involuntary step back and her hand shoots up to trace her necklace through her shirt. With a start, she realizes her eyes are wet.

“No,” Sara breathes, and her eyes fly back up to Ava. “I stopped working for them after the night you got hurt because of me.” Sara takes a step towards her again, throwing the book on Ava’s bed so her arms are free.

“Why?” Ava asks, the word barely audible.

“Because I couldn’t let them do that to my—” Sara stops herself, her features softening as she takes a final step to put her right in Ava’s space. “You still don’t see it, do you?”

“See what?” Despite asking, Ava is not sure she wants to know the answer.

Sara shakes her head, and for a moment, she almost looks defeated. “Can’t you feel it?” Sara looks at her pleadingly, but all Ava can do is furrow her brow, trying to decipher Sara’s words.

In one smooth move, Sara turns around and pulls her shirt over her head. The moment Ava understands what is happening, she closes her eyes and turns her head away. 

“What are you doing?” she asks, only feeling more confused than before.

“Look at me?” Sara requests quietly, ignoring Ava’s question. Ava finds she cannot deny her, and slowly turns to face her again as she opens her eyes. She gasps at the sight that meets her.

Sara’s back is filled with scars, big and small. _Familiar_ scars. Scars that Ava has seen in countless mirrors. Scars that she has seen in Sara’s _drawing_ _book_.

“How?” Ava does not mean for the word to fall out, it just does.

Sara chuckles dryly. “Do I need to spell it out for you?”

Ava does not dignify it with an answer. Instead, she slowly reaches out with her hand. When it comes into contact with Sara’s skin, she holds her breath, half-expecting the image in front of her to shatter. But Sara stays there, and so do all her scars. All the scars that match Ava’s.

“How long have you known?” Despite her bewitchment with Sara, there is something accusing in her voice.

“Since the first time I saw your back. After you went on a mission, leaving me alone at camp.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ava’s contact with Sara’s back is broken as Sara turns around.

“Growing up in the Empire, you’re taught that a soulmate equates to weakness. If you’re ever to find yours, the best thing to do is kill them and remove that weakness from the world. I tried to hold on to my teachings, to not care that I was leading my soulmate to her death. But I couldn’t.” Sara lifts her hand and lays her palm flat against Ava’s cheek. Ava is surprised to find herself leaning into the touch.

“The more time I spent with you, with the soldiers of the Rebellion, the more I realized that something was off. I grew up learning that the Rebellion was ruthless, that its members were blindly following a soulless monster. The more I saw to prove the opposite, the more I tried to hold on to  _ his _ teachings, to remember how he saved my life. But not even that could keep me from falling for you, from crashing into the ground at just the thought of you.” Sara steps closer, pushing their bodies together, as tears run down her face.

Ava’s arms instinctively wrap around her, one hand going to her neck and the other moving to her left side, a jolt running through her as she feels the scar —  _ her  _ scar — there. The scar she had gotten the first time she fought by Sara’s side.

“I killed Merlyn to ensure that I could give you the  _ right _ plans, that he couldn’t pull some trick to mess it up. And when I came to you before the meeting, I was going to tell you everything. I didn’t want to lie to you anymore.” Sara lets out a humorless laugh. “That didn’t end as well as I’d hoped.”

“Why didn’t you leave? Why did you stop fighting when my soldiers took you away? There are people here who would have you killed for working with the Empire.” Ava cannot help the worry overtaking her, worry over what might have happened to her, what _ Ava _ might have been forced to do to her if she let things go on long enough.

“I couldn’t leave you. No matter how slim the chance was, I had to try to make you see the truth, to make you not walk into that ambush.”

“Then why didn’t you just show me your scars the moment you were found out?”

“I didn’t want you to listen to me just because of our scars. I didn’t want you to… to look at me like this—” Sara’s hand moves to Ava’s temple, tracing a single finger next to her eye— “just because of fate.” Sara takes a step back, retracting her hand and forcing Ava’s to let her go. “I didn’t want to be just another pawn, to be used for my information and then thrown away for who I am. Those people, your advisors, they’d convince you I was trying to manipulate you.”

Ava reaches for Sara’s hand, gently lifting it up and intertwining their fingers. Looking at their joined hands, she says, “And you think I’d listen to them without a second thought?”

“You didn’t exactly react favorably when you found out.” Sara covers Ava’s hand with her free one, her thumb lightly stroking Ava’s skin.

“I had just found out the person I was falling for was plotting behind my back.” Ava looks up at Sara’s face, hating the insecurity she finds there. She lifts her free hand to Sara’s cheek, brushing away her falling tears.

“I’m sorry,” Sara whispers, turning her face away. Ava’s hand follows, as if glued onto her cheek.

“ _ I’m _ sorry,” Ava responds, gently turning Sara’s face back. “I should have realized sooner.” Deep down, she realizes, she has known for a long time. She was just too ignorant to realize what she knew.

“My being your soulmate doesn’t excuse what I’ve done.”

“No,” Ava agrees with a sigh. “But your past explains it. And if what you’re saying is true, then you haven’t been working for the Empire for a long time. Show me and all of them that you’ve changed, that you’ve seen through Darhk’s lies. Help us do what this Rebellion set out to do so many years ago.”

Sara nods. Taking a small step forwards, she reenters Ava’s space, burying her face in Ava’s neck as Ava wraps her arms around her torso, holding her impossibly close. She can almost hear Captain Hunter’s voice telling her that she is trusting Sara too easily, but she cannot deny every fiber in her being telling her to believe her. Logic may tell her one thing, but Ava’s learned long ago to trust her gut.

Ava gently pulls Sara’s head back so she can lower her own far enough that she can press a gentle kiss to Sara’s forehead. “Stay here tonight,” she whispers, her heart already hurting at the thought of being away from Sara a second longer. “Tomorrow you’ll have to face everyone, and we’ll start the battle plans for real.”

“Yeah,” Sara says, obviously not looking forward to the next day.

Ava rests her forehead against Sara’s, and part of her wants to just stand there throughout the night with Sara. Then Sara shivers, and Ava is reminded of her very bare torso and the inherent coldness of the tunnels.

“Let’s get you warm,” Ava says, pulling her towards the side of the bed.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here tonight?” Sara asks as another shiver runs through her.

“Of course. I mean, as long as you’re comfortable with that,” Ava says awkwardly. She had not considered the fact that Sara might not feel the same reluctance to be apart.

Sara does not give a response to that, she simply dives into the bed, pulling the covers close around herself. As she rolls over, she gives out a small groan.

“What’s wrong?” Ava asks, immediately kneeling on the bed beside her.

“My satchel,” Sara sighs, letting go of the covers so she can release it from her waist. 

Ava averts her gaze as the covers fall away, revealing Sara’s naked chest. When she looks back, with Sara once more underneath the covers, Sara is looking at her with a curious look in her eye. Ava chooses to ignore it as she settles on the bed, making herself comfortable next to Sara. Her fingers twitch as she considers reaching for the covers, but maybe it is best Sara has them for herself, all things considered.

She closes her eyes, resigning herself to the situation. To her surprise, she feels warmth creep up on her. She pries open one eye to see Sara settling on her chest, drawing the covers over them both. Ava cannot put words to the feeling beating in her heart as she wraps her arms around Sara’s body once more.

She tries to sleep, but finds she cannot. She hears Sara’s breathing even out, feels her body relax even more where Sara is lying snuggled up to her and falling asleep. Light as a feather, Ava traces the pads of her fingers against Sara’s back. Sara stirs slightly, and Ava freezes, afraid of waking her up. Sara tightens an arm around Ava’s waist then goes fully back to sleep.

A breath of relief escapes Ava, and her fingers start gently moving again. This time Sara stays deep in her slumber. Ava’s fingers find an irregularity in Sara’s skin, a small bump on the smooth surface. She traces the length of the scar, trying to imagine the matching one on her own back. In the middle of her thoughts, she wonders if the scar belonged to her or Sara first. She supposes it does not matter, as ever since its creation it has belonged to both their bodies.

Ava continues searching out scars on Sara’s back until sleep finally takes her, allowing her a few merciful hours of rest until they have to face everyone else in the morning. Convincing them to trust Sara again will be hard — there is still just the smallest part of Ava wondering if she will come to regret her decision — but if they want to have a shot at winning the war, it has to work. Ava refuses to dwell on the thought. She has to believe there is good in her soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

> As always I'm on tumblr [@wardenroot](http://wardenroot.tumblr.com), feel free to hmu to talk or for prompts


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